USSA Finally Arrives

We very clearly have so much to be thankful for in this country.

To begin with, we owe a debt of gratitude to the millions of voters who are, frankly, too stupid to cast ballots, and whose balloting behavior is more dictated by what they might receive free of charge than by what is in our nation’s best interest.

We’d like to thank all the utter morons who think that voting skin color somehow evens the score for the myths of white oppression foisted upon them by progressives lo these past five decades.

We are thankful for the numb-nuts Cesar Chavez who know his brother Barack Hussein Obama better than do most voters, and of course, for our friend Vladimir Putin, who understands that the United States will be far more flexible over the next four years.

Thanks also to Valarie Jarrett, who promises revenge to anyone who ever stood up to Barack Hussein Obama and his mission to destroy the United States of America, in a very fundamental way.

We’d like to think Sandra Fluke, who shared with us parts of her body not even a drunken sailor should want to touch, if he was sober and knew what was good for him. Yes, we’re happy to pay $3,000.00 a year for your sexual toys and contraceptives.

And thank you for Obama-Care, which will benefit no one except in the fulfillment of Barack Hussein Obama’s intention to bankrupt every single American —because, you see, even the poorest American is 100 times richer than people who are living in fourth-world cesspools, and these are the people to whom Obama intends to redistribute our income. It is the dream from his father, you see.

And we should like to thank all the American voters who lined up for hours, ensuring that Mr. Obama extends our debt to more than $20 trillion in the next four years.

And please, all you folks from other countries … come on over, help yourselves to our benefits and transform America into the same crap hole where you lived before coming here. And remember, it is your right to take that, which doesn’t belong to you because you never earned it.

And we’d like to welcome everyone to the United Socialist States of America (USSA) … because that’s where you’ve decided to take America; because you think that’s where we belong. And we do hope you enjoy the ride because this country is finished.