Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Thou Shall Think Twice When You're Gonna Run Your Mouth Off...


http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080304120710.ad7gm7i6&show_article=1


High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.


Z: If Moses was high on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, wouldn't the Ten Commandments have been more like:

1. You shall have no other gods before me...but man, those gods over there, the pink ones..hey, why is that tree PURPLE?

2. Make myself an idol....? whaaaa.........?

3. Hey, DUDE? oh...is that misusing your name? Well, it really isn't YOUR NAME, dude...chill

4. Observe Sunday, like hey...I sleep in and observe it on my eye lids...heh heh...cool

5. Honor your mom and dad. Hey, long as they're payin' the bills.......whoa.. IS that tree purple?

6. Murder? you talkin' to ME, dude? holding this heavy stone, THAT is murder, dude. Oh, okay. Not dude.

7. That chick is so hot, dude....commit adultery? if I didn't want to do adultery with her, I SHOULD be commited!

8. I do NOT steal....(that tree IS purple).....if I could steal you think I'd be wearin' this stupid robe?

9. I'm not lyin', man...that tree is definitely PURPLE! the one with the camel on that limb...

10. I shall not covet my neighbor's wife? Great. COVET? is coveting like...........oh, I can't say that word here. okay, dude. Okay, not dude. and yes it IS purple.

I'm just sayin'......... How do you chew on strange leaves and come up with a list as good as the real Ten Commandments? What kind of psychedelics was this guy doing when he came up with this hypothesis?

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it must have been the author of that post on Moses that was high on drugs...

Z said...

Farmer John......and, now that I read what I wrote last night, if I didn't know better, I'd think it was I who'd been high on drugs!

Anonymous said...

"I never saw a purple tree
I hope I never see one
But in a state of ecstasy
I'd rather see than be one."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Homemade proverb:

The use of "Dude"
Is always rude.

~ FreeThinker

Z said...

MOSES WAS DOING ECSTACY!! NOW we have the answer!...Thanks, Free Thinker!

Brooke said...

Whoa, DUDE! Don't forget freeing the Jews, avoiding the Pharoh and his army, and getting folks through the desert for forty years... But hey, they could've been high eating rocks or whatever, DUDE!

Sheesh!

Brooke said...

Not bad work while you're TRIPPING!

Z said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Z said...

Brooke! YOU know that if this guy looked into the history of Moses it wouldn't fit into the apparent "religion's bunk" attitude of this guy! It's FINE to suggest Moses really existed as long as he can demean our faith by ridiculing Moses, but....anything positive about Moses, anything which suggested the Moses story is true other than DRUGGING would REALLY mess with his head, right? I think so!

The Merry Widow said...

What a twit!
Loved your version! LOL!

tmw

Anonymous said...

I can only repeat:

Calling someone "Dude"
Is insolent and rude.

And every repetition
Brings you closer to Perdition.

};-)>

~ FreeThinker

Z said...

FT!! DUDE...........good little ditty there!

(((Thought Criminal))) said...

C'mon now. It was a burning marijuana bush.

Commandment Eleven was:

"Don't bogart the nachos."

Z said...

Mr. B: Leave HUMPHREY OUT OF THIS..and where'd the nachos come in?!! Moses in Mexico?

reminds me of Debbie does....

never mind.

The Merry Widow said...

You're dating yourself, Z! ROTFLOL!
I want to know how the camel got into the tree? And what were those pink things?
Mr. B.-Move AWAY from the nachos...
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!

tmw
:snigger:

nanc said...

2 Thessalonians 2

1Now we beseech you, brethren, by the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, and by our gathering together unto him,

2That ye be not soon shaken in
mind, or be troubled, neither by
spirit, nor by word, nor by letter as from us, as that the day of Christ is at hand.

3Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition;

4Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple of God, shewing himself that he is God.

5Remember ye not, that, when I was yet with you, I told you these
things?

6And now ye know what withholdeth
that he might be revealed in his time.

7For the mystery of iniquity doth
already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be
taken out of the way.


8And then shall that Wicked be
revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming:

9Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders,

10And with all deceivableness of
unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not
the love of the truth, that they might be saved.

11And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

12That they all might be damned
who believed not the truth, but
had pleasure in unrighteousness.

13But we are bound to give thanks
alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you
to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth:

14Whereunto he called you by our gospel, to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

15Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.

16Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace,

17Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.

these are the verses for our times.

nanc said...

guess i should have followed that up with a "dude"?

Z said...

nanc...I think "God" would have followed THAT up just perfectly.

I wish more would take it to heart..millions more.

nanc said...

the illusion is well under way.