Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday Faith Blog

A polite way to call someone a bastard
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes.  The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.  The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.  He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.  The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.”  :-)
Z: I thought this was pretty funny and I couldn't resist sharing it and finally came up with a way to tie it into a Sunday Faith Blog! .....  Be kind, try not to swear too much, pick your words and try to say what you think God might have you say!

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21
Happy Sunday!


Anonymous said...

This is an excellent story, Z —and one worth sharing. Thank you. When the golfer suddenly realized he was swindling a man of the cloth, he wanted to return the money. So I wonder how hustling is wrong when directed at a priest, but fair game when directed toward someone else …

It is sad to imagine a golf professional lowering himself to this level in order to fulfill his ego, and equally sad to realize there are fraudulent preachers, too.

Brooke said...


That was quite good!

Karen Howes said...

Nice, Z, thanks-- I was laughing at the title before I even started reading the joke!

Chuck said...


I'm with Mustang, good point

Ticker said...

Mustang, the pulpits are filled with them, the TV airwaves allow them to hustle the unsuspecting, ignorant and desperate on a daily basis. They preach the "gospel of prosperity" , just send me the money and you will be blessed, healed, get rich, drive a Cadillac etc etc.

A "golf pro" or a "preacher" are but the same, liars and vipers, I believe is what Jesus called them.

Elmers Brother said...

I agree with Ticker they treat God like a cosmic bellhop.

Z said...

I must be missing something about the preacher to find him fraudulent?
He doesn't normally bet, from what he said, and he wanted to return the money ...I thought he showed good character but maybe I'm missing something? :-)

Ticker, after your comment, I REALLY missed the pastor's transgressions! He's minding his own business preferring to play golf alone, a guy comes up and offers a bet and the pastor figures 'what the heck' and takes him up on it..he wins but knows gambling's wrong so he gives it back..right? And then doesn't call the pro what he really IS :-0


I will concede about pastors being vipers; I can't watch Christian TV and always worry my secular friends who're on the fence about faith see that and think that's what it's all about! YIKES!!

bob said...

I don't see either player as being bad or viperous. The golf pro was simply playing his game, and the priest was just enjoying a game of golf.

Given today's economic climate, you can build a scenerio that the golf pro's income was down because of Obamanomics, and was having to resort to unsavory conduct to feed his children.

Of course, the priest was just being kind for offering to conduct the marriage ceremony for the golf pro's parents. No offense, here.

All in a day's golf, if you ask me.

Z said...

bob...I love your take on it! Absolutely reassuring :-)

Ticker said...

Z you only missed that I was replying to Mustang's remark re: there being fraudulent preachers as well as "golfers". NO the priest himself was not fraudulent in this scenario but in line with Mustang's comments we find many so called preachers who stoop to the same level as this supposedly pro-golfer.
That was what I commented on. I was simply agreeing with Mustang.

Hope this clears the air on this.

Anonymous said...

Oh heck, preachers and priests are men, not saints. What's wrong with accepting a bet? I don't see anything fraudulent in that.

Just a day's fun at the golf course. Yes, the pro could have been more up front, but the priest didn't have to accept the bet.

The golf pro will think twice before he does that again.

And the priest? Well, he lost to a pro, so how bad could he feel? A bet's a bet.

Anytime someone looks to bet you on a competition, it's because he's pretty good at the game. Once you realize that, you take your chances that you'll be lucky. If not, you take your lumps.

I bet on myself every week in sidepots in my bowling leagues. Sometimes I win sometimes I don't. It's fun.

Umm no, I don't bother God with a prayer I'll win. He has more important things to take care of.

PS. Z, That is a polite way to call someone a b-----d, and it is funny!

Z said...

Ticker, no problem, thanks.
There are LOTS of very shady grieves me.
By the way, have you seen Robert Duvall's THE APOSTLE? If so, what did you think?

Pris, good ol' fun, in my opinion!
I'd bother God....I think a bowling prayer might be a relief!! HEH!!

WomanHonorThyself said...

aw sweet !

Anonymous said...

"I'd bother God....I think a bowling prayer might be a relief!! HEH!!"

Why Z, I never thought of it that way! You have a point there. Ha!

I saw The Apostle. I thought it was great, but what isn't with Robert DuVall. The character he played was a believer in what he was doing, but he was a man, and flawed. Nothing new in that.


Anonymous said...

You could also say, "When you get home, I hope your mother breaks her chain and sinks her fangs deep into you leg, so you have to spend hours in the ER getting a rabies shot."