Saturday, June 29, 2013

Illinois versus Arizona........



Illinois:

The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks and kills the Governor's dog.

1. The Governor ...starts to intervene and the coyote bites him. He reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control.. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

Arizona:

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her concealed carry pistol and keeps jogging.

The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards come along later and eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Arizona is not

Z:  You get the picture!  Any thoughts?  Can we even stop the madness at this late date?  We all know Illinois is not alone and Arizona's governor would probably get put in jail by Eric Holder because he'd put the poor coyote on an endangered species list, sue the NRA for supplying ammunition and put the buzzard in a prison with a new gym and plasma TVs!! :-)

geeeeeeeeeeeeZ

11 comments:

Mustang said...

Why couldn't it have been Obama that attacked the Gov. of Arizona's dog?

Sam Huntington said...

Good one!

Off topic: I just read in the WaPo that the double amputees will receive $2.2 million each as victims of the Boston bombing. That amounts to about $48K each year over the next 45 years (average lifespan remaining).

The average salary in Boston, MA is $74K.

Is it possible that the nanny state isn't working as well as leftists claim?

CnC said...

Ahhh that is perfect.
Many years ago I was driving my service van home late at night after a long day of work. When I was less than a half mile from home a large deer jumped in front of me and I slammed into Bambi.
The deer was not killed, yet!
I pulled my 9mm out and put Bambi out of her misery, then I called my preacher who had spent many years in Alaska and loved road kills.
I helped him load the deer formerly known as Bambi and we all lived happily ever after.

Aside from the fact that the preacher turned out to be a @&$! And caused a big church split and my wife turned out to be a cheating $&@!' And I divorced her and moved out of my woodlands paradise!
Wow, guess I need to get back to my own blog and vent some there lol

beakerkin said...

The last American Patriot Mr Beamish
would have had a beer right after shooting the coyote.

No style points

Bob said...

Sam, you said, "That amounts to about $48K each year over the next 45 years (average lifespan remaining)."

Having been in the financial business for a number of years, I can tell you that your assumption is in error if you take into account investment opportunities and the cost of money.

Most financial advisors would counsel investing that $2.2 million in a balanced, conservative portfolio. One should then withdraw a yearly income of 4% from the invested sum, and for the first year that would be $88,000. Over time, you would adjust your yearly withdrawals, keeping them at 4% of the total.

In the long term your income will probably increase since the average market return is somewhere around 6% per year, and you will never run out of money.

Sure, the market will crash 10% to 30% every few years, but that is made up over time. That's why you need a balanced portfolio.

The same thing happens if you were to win a $2 million lottery. You will not get a cash sum of $2 million immediately. The Lottery commission will buy an annuity that will pay $2 million in total over the length of the contract, and the price of the annuity is probably less than half the "jackpot" amount.

Have a great weekend, and keep blogging over at AOW's. Do you run your own blog?

JonBerg said...

"Why couldn't it have been Obama that attacked the Gov. of Arizona's dog?"

Oh, that's right, Obama eats dogs, I almost forgot. I wonder if he's eaten any on this trip yet?

Law and Order Teacher said...

Z,
Priceless!

Sam Huntington said...

Thank you, Bob ... hopefully they won't put their money in gold or silver.

No, I don't have my own blog ... but I did have a chance to read some of your stories and they are excellent. I'll drop by often.

FreeThinke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kid said...

California does this a lot too don't they? I read about the farmers not given water because of some fish somewhere in the area potentially being negatively affected. And they don't maintain the brush in the wild because of some other creature or insect right? So every so often, a wild fire, out of control, because of no maintenance on the brush - takes out not only the creature and/or the insects but a bunch of people's houses and businesses.

This is the kind of stuff that eventually kills a society, a culture. If it could somehow be designed to zero in on the libtards, it would be spectacularly awesome. ;-]

A word I never use.

Kid said...

Bob, I wish I'd read your investment advice when I was a lot younger.