Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Politics Made Simple:

Political Systems Made Simple

FEUDALISM: You have bacon. The lord comes and takes the bacon. And your last pig. You get a potato.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have some bacon. Your neighbor does not. The government takes your bacon and gives it to the neighbor. You have to take a second job to bring home the bacon so you can continue to supply the non working neighbor with your bacon.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have some bacon. The government takes half of it to give to the neighbor with none. The bacon is then managed by a Bacon Czar with a large staff. The Bacon Czar is a vegan. With the ensuing paperwork, and the latent inability of the Bacon Czar to actually handle the bacon, the bacon goes bad and is thrown out.

FASCISM: You have a little bit of bacon. The government takes it, and offers to sell you the oink.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have bacon. Your neighbor works to help you get more bacon and you share in it, even though he eats twice as much as you and does half the amount of work.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have bacon. The government takes it and gives you a potato.

DICTATORSHIP: You have bacon. The government takes it and drafts you. You get MRE's. They do not contain bacon.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have bacon. You vote with your neighbors as to how your bacon should be protected.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have some bacon. You elect someone to vote on how best to ensure you get more bacon.

 LIBERAL SOCIETY: You don't like bacon so I don't get any.

BUREAUCRACY: You have bacon. The government makes a new food pyramid that tell you when you should eat the bacon and how often. It then pays you not to eat the bacon and takes it and throws it away, after you have filled out a form to pay your bacon tax for the bacon that you no longer have.

CALIFORNIA BUREAUCRACY: In California, bacon contains nitrates and fats that may be bad for people who have no willpower. So no one gets bacon.

PROGRESSIVISM: You have bacon. The government takes it and gives you a receipt.

ANARCHY: You have bacon. You try and sell the bacon to others so you survive or others with big pointy things simply take the bacon and kill you.

MONARCHY: We have bacon because you love us and want us to have bacon. Smile. Wave.

CAPITALISM: You have bacon. Strengthened by bacon, you work harder and buy a whole damn pig.

MUCH OF THE MIDDLE EAST: Bacon is unclean. Die infidel.

MAOISM - We are Urban Working Class. What is bacon??


This Maddening World said...

The Court did not say they agreed with him...Obama put a little spin on it to suggest that their ruling helped uphold Americans right to affordable health care. And they did uphold it. Its not the same as saying that Roberts agreed with him. Calling it "fraudulent".

Always On Watch said...

Good one, Z!

Ed Bonderenka said...

Choices, choices...
Hmmmmmm. Let's see..

Silverfiddle said...

Thanks for the morning laugh! It's oh so true...

CnC said...

I enjoyed the read G but now all I can do is dream throwing more bacon on the grill at the campsite and having another bacon samich!

Anonymous said...

Yeah! I want the whole damn pig and I'm willing to work for it!

Ed Bonderenka said...


Joe said...

AFTER SCOTUS's RULING: You get taxed (penalized) for not having bacon.

Z said...

Joe, you are GENIUS!

Law and Order Teacher said...

Outstanding. One of those things you want to laugh at but it hurts too much.

Anonymous said...

this used to be about 2 cows
someone copied the idea
the original was better

Z said...

L&O.. really clever, isn't it!

Anonymous...I'd seen the cow one but thought this much better...sorry you didn't! Thanks for having come by again, but why so negative again?
I'd forgotten to turn off ANONYMOUS COMMENTERS and I just did it now..
I hope you have a good Fourth, FT :-)...
All the best.

Liberalmann said...

You forgot Oligarchy:
Rhe corporate right who are buying our Democracy with Citizen's United and Super PACs which don't require disclosure even by corporations with foreign interests. Not to mention those like Sheldon and the Koch Brothers who have pledged over $10M to ensure the middle class suffers.

Elmers Brother said...

The word you're searching for is a plutocracy

Elmers Brother said...

You were public school educated weren't you?

Leticia said...

Loved it all, my favorite is "Capitalism" buy the whole .... pig!


Ed Bonderenka said...

Crispy baconnnn....

They Say/We Say said...

It was the Dems who fought to allow the Unions and Super-Pacs.
Now it is turning against them - and listen to them howl.
There isn't enough money in politics from the voters-have been limited-to silence our voice; and give the Unions and Big Corporate/Lobbyist an out to sneekin the donations to the Dems.
The Congress was taken over in the 1960's to 1994 by the Dems.
The Tax Code was written by the Dems all that time.
The Income Tax was deducted from the workers pay checks, by the ACT Passed in 1951 by the KBG Agent Henry Wallace Sec. Dept Commerce (previously Agg Sec.2terms, and Vice Pres., and Sec. Commerce under FDR); his last dig against the American People, and Truman exposed him as a Communist and FIRED him; but not before he got the Bill to the Congress.
And the Dems have been writing all the Corporate Welfare and pork to help their GOOD OLE BOYS make money to launder back into the Dems coffers.
Like Clinton did with Mark Rich, (Wonder Why the Pardon), after his ex wife gave that big CHECK to Hillary for the Dems Coffers.
Clinton had Bill Richardson go with hat in hand to beg the Saudies to raise the Price of the barrel of oil. Mark Rich had stock piled wharehouses full of barrels of oil waiting for his good buddy to raise the PRICE.
That is also what the Teamsters/UPS strike was all about--the illegal election of Ron Cary to carry out the illegal STRIKE!
All about Gas/Fuel Stock Options-and Pension Funds!
Just to much cloak-n-dagger to explain here.
This the cut version.
Something young people haven't a clue as how the Dems manipulate the unsuspecting young targeted voters-they do not have a clue about communist propaganda, Tokyo Rose.

Z said...

Ed, STOP......my mouth's watering :-)

They Say/We Say..that comment is amazing. I'd like to even use it as a POST if you had links for most of it, and I KNOW you're right.

Particularly your last statement about our young people gives me a stomach ache; they don't even SEE IT.

Who'd have thought all this could happen in AMerica.....but a broken, evil, lying media is a very powerful thing.

Like Kid said in the post above "it's like getting the news from a kindergarten of evil children"

Don't you agree?

They Say/We Say said...

I have commented this several times on a few blogs and it seems to go in one ear and out the other.
But to do a POST is inviting the black vans to the bloggers house and never to see the blogger again.

Z said...

Who the HECK could argue with what you've written?

I did have to laugh at your allusion to black vans, till I remembered that's not impossible anymore. MY GOD, where is America?

This is the most down I've been about our country...the SCOTUS decision put me in a funk because no matter what the issue'd been in the past, I always felt that the justices did their best to interpret and wouldn't let the leftwing media shake them up or the reputation of the court come before THE TRUTH.
I feel like we have sand underneath us now...I never felt that before, come to think of it. I figured we could count on the SCOTUS. I don't anymore...not a good feeling.

They Say/We Say said...

This Health Care is all about the U.N. wanting all of the people numbered. The National ID.
Roberts is a Globalist, who nominated him? Daddy Bush is the New World Order Guy-he said so. GW wanted so bad to be a rebel against the old man-but could not.
In the 1990's Hillary Care had the Medical ID and a side law that if caught roaming the streets without it would be Jail time. The Repubs threw a fit and killed it.
And a few years ago the Dems tried again with a straight up Bill for the ID.
This just a sneeky way to please the U.N.
There is a lot of sneeky things that are in the Obama Care Bill that is not out in the open-even if you read it. If you don't know why one link leads to another you would not even see the sneeky part.
Don't be down. It will get fun to watch in the coming times.
The Libs will tip their hand and will be ridiculed soon. They can't seem to go up the pole with their plans with out someone tripping up by trying to one up each other.

Elmers Brother said...

The electronic medical records software doesn't even work but they're forcing doctors to buy it at a cost of $90000. 45k of it is reimbursable if the doctor can prove he's getting the government required demographic data even if the doctor himself does not require said data.