Thursday, August 18, 2011

Political Science..............all of these are SO GOOD!


You have two cows.  Your neighbor has none.  You feel guilty for being successful.  You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

You have two cows.  Your neighbor has none.  So?

You have two cows.  The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.  You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

You have two cows.  The government seizes both and provides you with milk.  You wait in line for hours to get it.  It is expensive and sour.

You have two cows.  You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

You have two cows.  Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

You have two cows  You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.  You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.  You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.  Your stock goes up.


You have two cows.  You go on strike because you want three cows.  You go to lunch and drink wine.  Life is good.


You have two cows.  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.  Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


You have two cows.  You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.  Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


You have two cows but you don't know where they are.  You break for lunch.  Life is good.


You have two cows.  You drink some vodka.  You count them and learn you have five cows.  You drink some more vodka.  You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.  The Mafia shows up and takes over all cows you really have.

You have all the cows in Afghanistan . Exactly two.  You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.  You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

You have two cows.  They go into hiding.  They send radio tapes of their mooing.


You have two bulls.  Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


You have one cow.  The cow is schizophrenic.  Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.  The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.  The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.  The cow asks permission to be cut in half.  The cow dies happy.


You have a black cow and a brown cow.  Everyone votes for the best looking one.  Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.  Some people vote for both.  Some people vote for neither.  Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.  Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.


You have millions of cows.  They make real California cheese.  Only five speak English.  Most are illegal.  Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Nice, huh? thanks, Mustang, for sending this to me.
If you all have a minute, watch the video is SO good!


Divine Theatre said...


(MY CAPTCHA code is ulactina!)

Bob said...

One cow
Two cows
Three cows more
We all have a cow
Now let's get four

Three cows
Two cows
One cow
Where are the cows
This is no fun

Where is the fourth cow
Where did it go
She's grazing out back
Besides the door

Here cow cow
Come to me now
We need your milk
To make our chow

Where are the udders
It's not that ilk
He ain't no cow
It's a bull we milk

Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Now THAT was actually funny!


Silverfiddle said...

That's a good one. Thanks for the afternoon laugh!

The Dark Side said...

Barry's approval rating just dropped to an all time low.

heidianne jackson said...


Z said...

The Dark Side.......we need things to brighten our day, don't we! That one did it for me.

Except, someone asked me yesterday "With Obama's ratings so low, you think he could lose?"

my answer was "NO, those people who are angry at Obama but leftists have been too indoctrinated and lied to by our media to vote for a (GASP!) Republican.

cube said...

They were all funny except for the Florida one... ;-)

Z said...

cube, I'm from California. If I can take ALL the horrid California bashing on the blogs, you can take a little about Florida, right? :-)'s been written in comments that people think you're a woman.
Your filthy language in the comment I had to delete says a lot about you.

cube said...

Z, it's all good. I can take it.

Re: Bd allegedly being a woman... for a long time many thought I was male. Go figure.

Bd said...

Tea Partier: Hates anyone getting something to help them out.

Z said...

Bd, already don't look very smart here. For your own peace of mind; get a grip.

Right...all Republicans hate everybody and don't want anybody to help anybody. Are you ALIVE? geeez!