Sunday, May 4, 2008

A good laugh to start off the week!!


LITTLE LADY:


A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."


OLD FRIENDS:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is" Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAOROFL!!!

thanks Z...needed that...


Pati

Elmers Brother said...

funny...but ever since I was on 'Search for Tomorrow' I have had a thing for Cougars

Elmers Brother said...

take a hike Kevin...you're bothering Z

Anonymous said...

OH Z! I needed that more than you'll ever know!!! First of all, I WILL be the lady in the top picture in about 50 years, and I will fit the description of the two in the jokes!
Good stuff.

Z said...

Stay, Kevin! IGNORE Elbro...he's dillusional!!

cougars and Search for Tomorrow? What did I miss, Kev?

Pinky! Happy you liked them, too!! We should ALL be that limber, huh?

WomanHonorThyself said...

lol..whats yer name again?

Incognito said...

:-) ahh humour... particularly needed in these times!!

Anonymous said...

Hi All,
This is too funny. I have one for you. True story.

I was playing bridge and we had a new player join us. We had met each other earlier. Her name was Margaret. Later, as she came and sat at our table, she said to me, "you're Margaret", and I said, "no, you're Margaret, I'm Priscilla".

I thought it was funny, she did not. My partner sitting across from me, an old friend, couldn't look at me because if she did, she would have burst out laughing. We didn't make eye contact that entire round.

Moral of the story, don't try to be funny with strangers. Some people have no sense of humor.


Pris

Anonymous said...

LOL
Pris that is so funny and so true!

When I first moved to FL from CA, I had cause to call some gov't office, I don't recall, and the woman on the phone sounded a bit older than I maybe ten years or so, mid forties or early fifties at the time.


Anyway, she explained something to me to which I responded as I ALWAYS had in CA to news that was GOOD ..."Get out of town!"...To which there was a LONG pause, and finally, a very stilted, serious..."No. I will not get out of town."...LOL


I told Scott...they just don't get me here in FL..LOL


Moral of this story? When in 'FL', speak as the Floridians do. LOL


Pati

Brooke said...

I like that last one! LOL!

nanc said...

could i get a trip to the salad bar with that soup or sex?

just curious...

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

*8]

Anonymous said...

Hi Pati,
That is so funny. There's no predicting is there?


Pris

Gayle said...

Loved the jokes, Z. LOL! Thanks for the laugh 'cause I really needed one!

The Merry Widow said...

Pati-As a Floridian I will tell you, YES, you better speak Florida Southern! LOL!
Except we have so many snowbirds anymore...they speak naw yalk...

tmw

Anonymous said...

The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE." Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to.

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.


The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you
change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz ...." "Change, now get on with it"

A candidate may promise change in Washington but the stink remains.


Courtesy of FreeThinke