Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I just love this piece. And, no, I did not write it...I think you'll like it.........

Lets Get r done!!!

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion
. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.

After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran , Palestine , and France and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic). We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot.

Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other like minded patriots and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand too.


z: I don't know who John J. Wall IS, but I'd SURE like to meet him. And hug him.

z

59 comments:

Ducky's here said...

Do we get Boston?

That means we can keep Harvard, M.I.T, the New England Conservatory, the Isabella Gardner, Fine Arts, the Fogg, Mass General, Beth Israel and Brigam & Women's, Harvard Medical School, the DeCordova sculpture garden, Huntington Repertory Theater, American Repetory Theater, Fidelity, Mass Biotech, The Arboretum, The Public Gardens, Boston Public Library, the Brattle Theater, the Red Sox ... seems like a good deal in return for Wal-Mart.

Topic of the day for my conservative brethren:

Why have leftists always made the best Christian films? You know Bresson, Pasolini, Dreyer, Rossellini, Bergman, Capra, Kielslowski ... I'm curious.

Do we get to take film making with us and leave you with Paul Blart: Mall Cop?

CJ said...

A wonderful variation on my own daydream. How I wish we could or would do this. We really wouldn't even need to fight about the land since they'd only want the coasts and not for any sensible reason. We could take the worst parts of the country, the deserts and the plains for instance (sort of like how Abraham let Lot choose) because only we would know how and have the motivation to make them produce. Then we'd sell our stuff to them and get richer and richer while they get poorer and poorer until they need us to come in and teach them the basics of survival.

CJ said...

You can have em all, Ducky, as they're only going to continue to deteriorate while in our part of the country we'll be founding new Harvards, Yales, Princetons and the other dozen or so, on the Biblical Christian foundations of the originals.

Good Christian films? There is really no such thing in my opinion.

Ducky's here said...

Good Christian films? There is really no such thing in my opinion.

---------------------

You kidding? Really, I'm not joking here you need to see Dreyer's "Passion of St. Joan" and "Ordet". Might change your mind.

Also try Bresson's "Au Hasard, Balthazar".

Brooke said...

You know the left would bleed us for alimony if they could... ;)

I.H.S. said...

Z, that was good, but I was wondering, is there a place for someone like me, because I'm neither a hockey mom, greedy CEO nor a redneck. I tell you what "I AIN'T GOING WITH THE OTHER SIDE."

Sue said...

and you can have this blog along with everything else that you think is rightfully yours...

Anonymous said...

I love this Z....I am so stealing this but giving credit where it is due of course....LOL

Z said...

I.H.S....you come live with us, you and your familY! You would be supremely welcome into this community! Come to think of it, I"M none of those things you mentioned, either!
We'll be FAR more fascinating and multi-layered than only those things.
Actually...I'd only go if I could define redneck!

Sue, Thanks for my blog! I'm hoping more good people read this thing I did NOT write and consider what it's really saying....I thought it was excellent, I'm sorry if it offended. I'd want to be on this side.

Jennifer...I wish I'd written it, I'd be even more pleased you took it!

Elmers Brother said...

Why have leftists always made the best Christian films? You know Bresson, Pasolini, Dreyer, Rossellini, Bergman, Capra, Kielslowski ... I'm curious.

Who are these guys?

Ducky's here said...

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

--------------------------

I'm keeping The Boss.

And remember, the great Ralph Stanley endorsed Obama. He's with us too.

You get Metallica. Enjoy.

Ducky's here said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ducky's here said...

Elmer, you must at least recognize Capra --- It's a Wonderful Life?


The rest of them are all considered top 25 directors.

Elmers Brother said...

It was a joke duhkkky.

Elmers Brother said...

although I will admit I am not familiar with any 'Christian' movies these guys have made

Elmers Brother said...

Ralph must be going on 103 by now

Z said...

Ducky, most directors made films with great messages to please the American Christian public. You think their leftist manner provoked them!?

It's a Wonderful Life isn't such a Christian message, anyway...it's a fabulous feel good picture with an angel in it..

Ducky's here said...

Ralph must be going on 103 by now

--------------------

And he can still play !

Elmers Brother said...

oh yeah I've read that James Brown was a huge fan of Dr. Ralph and the soundtrack to Oh Brother Where Art Thou is a favorite at my house.

Ducky's here said...

Ducky, most directors made films with great messages to please the American Christian public. You think their leftist manner provoked them!?

-----------------

Seriously, most of those named are Catholics or lapsed Catholics and one theory is that their Catholicism gave them an intuitive understanding of iconography which transfers to the screen. Protestants put a primacy on "word". Mind you it isn't a dig, just a statement of a fact.

Try Pasolini's "Gospel According to Saint Matthew". He tried to cast Jack Kerouac as Christ but settled for an unemployed Neapolitan Communist truck driver. How can you lose?

Z said...

Funny, some heavy metal band members did some electrical work around here the other day...handsome kids, with piercings, bleach tipped hair..terrific guys, too.
I wrote about it in a post...
I couldn't believe they were conservatives and he said "Don't kid yourself........" Loved it.
"I didn't move from Socialist Canada to have that HERE now, too" I felt sorry for the guy, he detests Obama, of course. He'd tried to escape, but.......

Gee, I'm going to REALLY miss Bergman and Rossellini, Duck!! !!!

Elmers Brother said...

Try Pasolini's "Gospel According to Saint Matthew". He tried to cast Jack Kerouac as Christ but settled for an unemployed Neapolitan Communist truck driver. How can you lose?

bwahahahahaha!!!!

Z said...

"A primacy on WORD?" WHAT?

Anonymous said...

Those Christian films Ducky, when were they made? Besides The Passion, the last time a positive portrayal of Christianity was made must have been the 50's. Are any of those producers/directors even alive today?

Another thing, all those blacklisted conservative hollywood artists could come out of the closet.

Z, I love this, a fantasy I can wrap my arms around.

Sue, wherever Z is her blog is. Surely you know that. Even you can't stay away, you recognize quality when you see it, right?

One more thing Ducky, we get the Dodgers. Oh, and the "Boss" is yours! This is easier than I thought.

Pris

christian soldier said...

Sad that Christians did not hold the high ground because institutions such as :
Harvard
Princeton
William and Mary etc. were est. by Christians....
Remember the Dark Side always writes what it intends ...Dewy and his crew actually wrote that they intended to take over all education in the US -this was at the turn of the last century...now we have the Alinsky-Ayers types teaching our young people..sad...

Lk 19 KJV "Occupy til I come"
Christian leaders have failed for 100 years to teach the Word...and true US history...
Thus-we're in a mess est. lack of knowledge....
C-CS

Sue said...

z - well, you see, it just hurt my little liberal feelings. that's all

Ducky's here said...

Those Christian films Ducky, when were they made? Besides The Passion, the last time a positive portrayal of Christianity was made must have been the 50's. Are any of those producers/directors even alive today?

-------------------------

They were going well into the 60's. It's been pretty spare since then although many are going to say that The Last Temptation of Christ is anything but anti-Christian.

Z said...

Sue, I wouldn't hurt ANY of your feelings for love or money.

Leftist blogs say pretty graphically how they feel, too, you know that. Most FAR worse than this. This is just honest, in my biased opinion!!!

I DO feel that America's slipping because of leftist ideas; I believe we must not be a socialist state, we should NOT have apologized to muslims because I firmly believe most non violent muslims (which is the biggest population of muslims) already know we mean them no harm and most others feel grateful for having kicked Saddam out and putting girls back in sschools, etc etc.., I believe stricter parents make better kids and it's not Conservatives who started the liberal shrink Dr Spock junk...and that's our biggest problem today and that's why I mention it.
OUR CHURCHES and OUR PARENTS have let us down and, you know? I"ve actually thought we may NEVER again be the America you and I and Priscilla remember because those people don't exist anymore; those who wouldn't take welfare on a bet, who demanded THEY take care of their kids not the state,,etc...

Sue, I just don't like or believe in liberalism...But I DO believe in charity from the heart (not forced, and Republicans do give more in charity but that's not to say lots of good Dems don't), I believe things worked better in this country when we respected it more, guarded our borders better, etc. (Bush HUGELY disappointed many of us conservatives on this topic; MOST, probably), I believe in free market and low taxes because they have ALWAYS worked and Socialism NEVER has...etc etc..
But,I'm not calling YOU a socialist !! NO WAY..!!

And, I'll even tell you that I think that if a woman wants to kill her baby, she can...but I can't pay for it. Not 'don't want to pay for it'..I CAN'T pay for it because it's impossible to think my money's supporting that!, but NOW I'll be paying for abortiions around the world!
On that matter, I'm TIRED of paying for NPR and PBS, most of which does NOT reflect half of America's opinions. would you want to pay for Hannity any more than I like paying Bill Moyers!??

I believe global warming is NOT what Gore cooked it up to be and have an excellent article to link to if you'd like (from Huffington, believe it or not)..

Well..I can go on and on. I just feel that YOU, TOO, probably have the values that would inspire this piece; YOU would want to keep our national anthem, you would accept most of it,but you feel Republicans aren't good people somehow.....you even said I basically wasn't a good example of my faith! I understand that, but that hurt MY feelings, frankly.

Well...I just want to be in touch and hope I can be open on my blog and I will always enjoy reading yours.

Priscilla, that's a very nice thing to say. I TRY to remain authentic here (man, I hate that psychobabble, but the word works here, right!?)...it is what I am. You know me in person...you know.
thanks.xx

Z said...

Elbro, they're coming back.
What's that FIRE film that's just out on DVD? I read it was on the Top 5 Box office but I've also heard it was the no. 1 film, grossing box office, of last year. I'm not sure.
(Funny, I JUST now see an email coming in that touts having this DVD at a local store.....what a coincidence!)

Anyway, there are some films coming out..slowly....And there's Friends of Abe...roughly 2000 hollywood types who want to at least make films with better values again........not only Christian, but patriotic, uplifting, not the pessimism we're seeing.

Z said...

Fireproof did $34 million on a half a million investment.

Papa Frank said...

I'm okay with all of Ducky's concessions. Let's shake on it and make it a done deal. I am very appreciative for him leaving us Metallica. As for Christian films the best and most profitable lately are the Lord of the Rings trilogy. We'll be taking them with us as well. Nice doing business with you!!!

shoprat said...

It's amazing to me how far off the topic the conversations wander. Start with dividing the country and end up talking about movies.

Papa Frank said...

I'm going to miss the Indigo Girls and REM.

Z said...

Shoprat....HELP!
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

But, for Ducky, it's easier to get off track then to address the point, I guess.

Kris said...

z - love it...it should be an open letter so we all can sign.

kw

DaBlade said...

Nice idea Z. Of course, the side benefit for Obamaland is that they may live in peace under our military umbrella, just like Canada does now. This peace dividend they steal from us will soon be squandered however, as their redistribution chokes off real economic growth.

christian soldier said...

Actually--as per my comment--but shortened--I don't want to divide--I want our 'stuff' back....
:-) C-CS

David Wyatt said...

Z,

That was a beaut!

Average American said...

Ducky, I'll keep my pick-up truck, my guns, and my country music. You can have your springsteen, all the rap music ever made, your koolaid and for God's sake please keep every prius, electric car, and cars that run on used vegetable oil in the country! We don't have any use for them, except maybe for target practice.

Sue said...

Of course I have vaules.

I don't know why I read the political parts of your blog since I don't agree with any of it. But I do read them and I've tried not to let myself react. This one just really took me by surprise.

Anonymous said...

You know, originally a red neck was someone who had actually joined a UNION!!
Yes, in coal counties in states such as W. V.

So, the fellows would put a red bandana on to show he was a member.


WVDOTTR

Z said...

Sue, it's tongue in cheek, nobody really wants to separate this country.

I wonder...what is it you dislike so much about Conservatives? I'd honestly like to know and it would help me understand not just you but many people, obviously.
I thought I addressed a lot in my longish comment here and so, while I didn't think you were going to read it and say "Woopie!! I think I'LL be a Conservative NOW!", I honestly do wonder what you thought of my points. Lord knows, I've told you here in a hundred ways what I fear and dislike in liberal politics!

WV..didn't know that! IS it also true that the Red and Blue States used to be the reverse? Someone told me RED used to stand for the Left but they didn't like the implication; is that total hyperbole, or???

Sue said...

z - As I said, it's only the political part of this blog that I don't like. It's not constructive, just vicious. (I was also vicious about Bush - like saying Bush sucks, but I was saying it sincerely.)

It's not right to say that I don't like Conservatives, for that would include my husband, my two daughters, my sons-in-law and my three closest friends. Once my daughter said to me: Mom, why do you have to be liberal. I just am just as she is conservative. It's very difficult to live with but you have to stick with your convictions. It's also hard when I hear that liberals do not have faith.

Let me put it this way. I strongly dislike the Catholic Church, but not the people who are Catholics. That would include my mother.

So to say that I dislike Conservatives is incorrect. But rarely do I like what is said on the POLITICAL part of your blog. I can't see what good it does. Unless it is just to let off steam.

You said that the 'choosing up sides' piece was tongue-in-cheek, but from the other ones I had read, I couldnd't tell. And I didn't find it funny. I think this divisiveness is serious.

I saw on the internet that Sarah Palin is getting funds set up for a run in 2012. If you want to see vicious - I like her far less than I did G. Bush. See, we are just on different sides.

That is my honest answer. If I knew you or anyone that comments here, I no doubt would like you. But I only know you from this blog.
And you have made kind comments on my blog. But honesty is my policy.
And that's how I feel.

I'm going on and on. See what you think about the above.

Sue said...

z - I've got an idea. Let's stop worrying about my comments on your blog. Anonymous is right - I can't stay away! But I'm never, ever going to be Conservative, so what's the point of discussing it.

I'll keep reading you blog and the comments and get desensitized(sp?) Life's to short to worry about which side you're on. Let's just try to get along.

It's after one here so I've got to get to bed. (We had a little more snow tonight.) btt

Z said...

Sue, thanks for taking the time to respond like you did. I'm not 'worried about your comments at my blog' I was worried I'd hurt you yet I realize you know this isn't personal to you.

I'm not just letting off steam! I feel these ways and so do most of the readers.

I DO know some liberals are people of faith, I just wonder how they can be so for abortion and they'd vote for someone who's doing what obama's doing now. Heck, I have a liberal girlfriend who WORKS in a clinic whose goal is to show women just how negatively impacted they'll be in the future by their abortion and she voted for Obama! But, when I mentioned some of the facts about him, she either hadn't hear or completely denied them because she couldn't believe them.

I didn't know your family was conservative.....You did a good job, Mom! (Smile....just had to joke a little there)

I'm just glad to have you here and will look forward to your comments; it is good for us all to hear what the 'other side' says (though you'd think having a whole media against us would be enough, right?

And yes, this stuff might have sounded divisive but it's mostly just a "go to the extreme because it's the best way to make the point" kind of piece.

good luck with all the snow!

Sue said...

That wraps up this round. We'll see what the next one brings.

Ducky's here said...

Ducky, I'll keep my pick-up truck, my guns, and my country music. You can have your springsteen, all the rap music ever made, your koolaid and for God's sake please keep every prius, electric car, and cars that run on used vegetable oil in the country! We don't have any use for them, except maybe for target practice.

---------------------------

Do I get to keep Eliot Carter, Charles Ives and Samuel Barber along with Springsteen?

I rarely listen to rap. I do like a little of the early hip-hop style. Had a good energy.

Who gets Billie Holiday, Chet Baker, Mingus, Stan Getz. I don't think they fit in with the right wing style. In Mingus' case I am quite certain.

Art Ensemble of Chicago for the right? Sorry, I can't see you cats listening to Lester Bowie or Anthony Braxton.

Lot of variety on the left side isn't there. Meanwhile all you've got is a pick-up truck. A depreciating asset like your failed politics.

Ducky's here said...

But, for Ducky, it's easier to get off track then to address the point, I guess.

-----------------

What was the point?

I live in an area with a great culture that was largely built by liberals.

I'll take it over whatever you're pushing. Simple.

CJ said...

Just for the record, I'm serious about dividing up the country. I may be the only one here who is, but I've thought something like this for a long time and I'd really like to see it happen. I want the original US back with some tightening of the meaning of some parts of the Constitution, and there's no way the liberals will go along with this, so making our own country is the only solution. The only thing jokey about it is that I know it can't or won't happen.

Ducky's here said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I.H.S. said...

CJ, you said,"I want the original US back..."

I'm curious about what that means? The oringinal US with the original idea that slavery was o.k.? The removing of Native Americans from their land?

Help me out here because I personnally have a problem with that kind of US.

Blessings.

CJ said...

What I mean is that I want back the original meaning of our Constitution with a better stronger definition of what it was supposed to mean -- so that we can't be subjected to a Supreme Court that misreads it and takes power into its own hands, usurping the whole concept of checks and balances, and allowing the insanities of misinterpretation of the First Amendment among other things. The mentality of this country was original Christian and that survived in our institutions and legal cases for a while. A big weakness was a lack of definition of the meaning of freedom of religion. Surely the freedom to practice a religion that seeks the death of people of other beliefs can't be protected, but it seems that it is these days.

No, I certainly don't mean I want slavery back, but I don't blame that on the Constitution. That's just fallen human nature doing its thing, but the Declaration of Independence says that "all men are created equal" and that had to be honored eventually, though really it was the Christian mindset of most of the population that finally brought it about.

The genius of the Constitution was that it made allowance for fallen human nature so that the worst in human nature couldn't dominate for long, and I believe that worked for a while. This was provided in its checks and balances, spelling out particular rights, spelling out methods of redress, spelling out rules for amending the Constitution itself and so on. (The Marxist mentality on the other hand wants us all to be pure and perfect and they want to define what that is from their own fallen perspective, and unfortunately they've found a way to reinterpret the Constitution to serve their ends.)

That's my rough idea of the situation, IHS, and I'm no Constitutional scholar so I could be wrong in various ways, but I hope I'm clear about the SORT of government I want in our new country and how we don't have it now -- since the 60s or so.

Z said...

Ducky, WE GET IT. You're not happy, you have to demean. WHY?

YOu win! Conservatives have ZERO talent, never made a good film, wrote a good book, we're all just rubes with no deep, dark Bergman-esque understanding (my friend Pancho's father was Igmar's and Von Sydow's (and the girls') agent for years and a dinner party there in Sweden with the bunch just couldn't get duller, according to my brilliant friend who had to sit there with his Dad and them), we aren't known for being stoners like Chet Baker ( who also can't sing any better than Dylan), if we're gay we keep it to our dignified selves, we're sorry we weren't like Rossellini (who, with INgrid Bergman started to pave the way for public immorality and children born out of wedlock),....etc.

And, frankly, how we'll do without the Isabella Gardner museum is WAY beyond most of us.

Responsibility is important to Conservatives...you mentioned, in the comment I CENSORED (just want to make sure my readers know I DID delete your final comment about how we shouldn't eat cheeseburgers by legal edict)...We feel what we EAT is OUR business and it shouldn't take a law to get the bacon off a burger.

LESS GOVERNMENT. that's all.

I.H.S. said...

Thank you for your clarification CJ.

Blessings.

Ducky's here said...

Chet Baker ( who also can't sing any better than Dylan)

----------------

Fightin' words, z.

That's like saying Toby Keith is a country musician and having Bill Monroe, Bob Wills, Lefty Frizell,Hank and Ernest Tubbs roll in their grave.

I'm only pointing out that this idea that the country is composed of purely "right" elements (which you think are all good) and "left" elements (which you think are all bad) is foolish.

Anyway, I'm in mourning over the news that Brandeis University, because that clown Bernie Madoff ripped them off, is going to sell its art collection. A very fine collection of twentieth century American work that will now go private and not be seen by the people. It's really a tragedy.

Ducky's here said...

Yeah, Bergman is an interesting case, z.

So ardent to tout his atheism, yet I think he protests to much. He's always asking questions about God, "If you had not known me, you would not seek me." No?

Ducky's here said...

And, frankly, how we'll do without the Isabella Gardner museum is WAY beyond most of us.

------------------

The place is magic.

Her life is instructive. She was instrumental, absolutely instrumental, in the movement to create public museums in America and she was certainly not "conservative". Also a very religious woman and you get that full bore in the museum.

Art should get you on your damn knees once in a while, no?

Z said...

You know, Ducky....
I think the Gardner is a beautiful place, you know that.
I think Chet Baker had style, NO doubt about it.
And I'm not a huge Toby Keith fan, frankly.

I think you know I'm trying to make a point; the point being that Conservatives aren't the rubes you paint us to be. And that I'd rather be on this traditional, flag-waving, American side which was started and continued by people who believe in LESS government and self-reliance and charity and faithful people than one comprised mostly of types like Chet Baker and Bergman, that's all.

Anonymous said...

Joseph farah from WND postulated this very same thing right after the sham election.
I was allowed to divorce my wife because of irreconsilable differences.
This is a viable alternative to obama type socialism which is anathema to me.
I am afraid there will be vioence if we don't. I detest cultural marxists.

Lost in aztlan