Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Fabulous lines by Leno....take a look...it's worth it

These  one liners might be why NBC retired Jay Leno!

NBC was upset  by the fact Leno's comments were ALWAYS right on target.

"I  was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't  want to get audited by the IRS."

On NSA surveillance:  "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we  have one."

On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting  commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't  involve the White House."

On closing the Guantanamo prison  for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it  into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

Concerning the Benghazi , Associated  Press, and IRS scandals:
"Remember in the old days when  President Obama's biggest embarrassment
was Joe  Biden?"

On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS  scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi  to not know anything about the IRS."

"The White House has a  new slogan about Benghazi : Hope and change the  subject."


"It's casual Friday, which means that at the  White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone  calls and records."

"It is not looking good for President  Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

"Fox News  has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told  you so!'"

On Obama's commencement address: "He told the  young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they  want jobs."

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a  Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in  a circle that many times is to read the official report on  Benghazi ."

On White House claims of ignorance on the  scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the  Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

"These White House scandals are  not going away anytime soon. It's gotten 
so bad that People in  Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent  American."


I hope you enjoyed them!   Z

xx

 

22 comments:

Duckys here said...

..........

Pris said...

Yes, and now we know why he's been replaced!!!

Z said...

Hi, Pris!
I know...must be painful for people to realize there's so much truth in them! Really good ones....

Pris said...

Hi Z!
HaHa, it wasn't painful for you and I. Yep, they are good ones, and his audience there sure liked him too.

Ed Bonderenka said...

I see the humor.
I just can't laugh.

Sam Huntington said...

All of these are great. Too bad they are all true.

Z said...

Isn't it sad the laughter's cloaked in reality?

I have been thinking that the Left might blame the word "Scandal" used so much about this White House on the Republicans, but man, we haven't had open-ended situations, lies, and spying on US, and things like that so much since...when?

I know. the Left will say NIXON! :-)

wrong again.

Duckys here said...

I imagine most of us on the left would bring up WMD and Iraq.

Kid said...

I could easily believe Leno was cancelled by the white house. obama has been calling out anyone who dares question as an enemy.

So, libtards, how does it feel to have a racist, anti-American, muslim activist POS imbecile king that cannot be questioned without serious consequence for said questioner ?

Remember Breitbart? Dead. The comic who did revealing obama impersonations? dead. leno - cancelled. How long do you think Leno will survive once he is out of sight, out of mind (of the libtards)?

You're making your beds and I'm going to laugh like a hyena when you finally wake up and smell the stench.

Z said...

Ducky, no I meant SCANDALS.
WMDs are still thought by many experts to have been shipped out by Iraq and the House and Senate voted for Iraq...not much scandal there.

Kid...Leno's impersonator dead?

Kid said...

obama impersonator. Little too good.

Duckys here said...

kid, did they use the heart attack gun on Breitbart?

You have the blueprints for that one. Don't deny it, I've heard a few things.

Z said...

Kid, ya, but HE DIED?

Ducky...I know, nuts to think Breitbart, who was about to come out with information, dropped dead of a heart attack at 42.
And it's just as nuts to think of that LA investigating reporter whose car suddenly sped up and took him to his death wrapped around a tree about 2 years ago.
Do I think either of these were some leftwing conspiracy? Probably not.
But, let's face it....we have the CLintons for a blueprint, don't we. Did you ever read PRIMARY COLORS? :-)

Anonymous said...

"did they use the heart attack gun on Breitbart?"

Maybe it was an overdose of lying liberal bullschmidt?

Kid said...

Yes, he's dead.

I make no conclusion. I only point out that where there is smoke, there is usually fire.

So, when will we see something like this associated with the obamas.

clinton body count

Take any one or 10 of them and it's a stretch to think clinton's handlers might be responsible, but add them all up and you'd have to be a 2014 level climate change believing zombie to think foul play wasn't involved.

So, in today's world, are the obamas directly involved? I don't believe that for a second, but whomever obamas handlers are - sure.

Z said...

Kis, I'm not challenging the Obama impersonator's death...just hadn't heard at all about it, that's all. I'm going to Google it.

I mentioned the Clinton's above, and there are lists and lists of people who died surrounding their earlier days, most. Vince Foster's NOTHING compared to the eye witness accounts of folks seeing the same car in places where others died, etc.
Joe Klein's PRIMARY COLORS is astonishing....it's pretty much understood that a woman who was angry at the Clinton's for screwing over some elderly Southern politician and died suddenly in her car, on the side of a road, was them.

Democrats will vote for Democrats no matter WHAT they do..but the good thing for Dems is their people don't ask questions.

Did you hear about the get-together at the WHite House? I think it was yesterday or today? All children of billionaire capitalists like the Marriot family, etc..."just to get to meet each other" (can't ask for money while they're IN the White House).
Yup....they're getting the really rich young folks together...think it was just a lovely idea for them to meet? :-)
But, you remember Obama saying that some people "have made ENOUGH money!" Apparently not when they can become his donors, huh? Quite a story.
Meantime, CNn's still looking for the black box in Malaysia and Maddow's interviewing Pocahontas Warren tonight. :-)

Z said...

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/04/the-stylishness-of-democrats-courting-young-multi-billionaires/360964/

It was in MARCH that the WH had this meeting...we're just hearing about it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Aren't they clever? isn't it so sweet of the WH to want young BIG money inheritors to meet? :)


And the way the media carried on about Adelson having a meeting a week or so ago...the 'elites'..!
The hypocrisy is ABSOLUTELY nuts.

Kid said...

Z, I didn't take your question as a challenge at all. Looks like you're up to speed on the clinton body count.
No doubt the obamas and the democrats will take money from anyone.
It reminds me of when hitler got a number of influential people to support him to the chancellery and beyond, then were murdered by his gestapo for being such good supporters. Same kind of thing muslims do btw.

MH370 - I saw an interview with a former head of the NTSB. He said there is no question in his mind that plane went down in the ocean and also that it will take a long long long time for it to be found. I'm on board with that analysis at this point.

rachel maddow? Geeezix, put her in a sack with maher, perex hilton, ed anser, jimmy (let's celebrate 911) brolin, most of the politicians and drop em into the deep blue sea with about 300,000 lawyers and we'll have made some progress.

Problem is, I'm a peace loving cat who knows he isn't God, and has no intention of trying to play one. So, all this will have to wait for judgement day. I hope these evil filth end up being very surprised in the afterlife.

T Krabby said...

"Pocahontas Warren"


Ummm my source tells me ( Howie Carr challenged her to a DNA test that he'll pay for ) up in Mass they cal her Lie-a-watha.

Duckys here said...

Kid, hate to break it to you but Vince Foster us renting my basement.

Bob said...

Ducky "I imagine most of us on the left would bring up WMD and Iraq."

Yeah. SLAM DUNK!

p47koji said...

These were so downright hilarious that my sides ached... until realizing it was my heart that ached.