And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossomz
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63 comments:
Is it me? Is it me? To bloom or not to bloom, that is the question...
There are just so many ways to bloom, too!
Thank the gods for producing soooo many different muses. Each and every time we dance at the horse springs on Mt. Helicon, I return refreshed.
But some fuel for the soul... this reminds me of a poem about the pains of budded flowers by John Dryden, "A Hidden Flame"
I FEED a flame within, which so torments me
That it both pains my heart, and yet contains me:
'Tis such a pleasing smart, and I so love it,
That I had rather die than once remove it.
Yet he, for whom I grieve, shall never know it;
My tongue does not betray, nor my eyes show it.
Not a sigh, nor a tear, my pain discloses,
But they fall silently, like dew on roses.
Thus, to prevent my Love from being cruel,
My heart's the sacrifice, as 'tis the fuel;
And while I suffer this to give him quiet,
My faith rewards my love, though he deny it.
On his eyes will I gaze, and there delight me;
While I conceal my love no frown can fright me.
To be more happy I dare not aspire,
Nor can I fall more low, mounting no higher.Hmmm, maybe that why some artists bloom... they just hold so much love inside, they have a need to express it in their work. I know, the "pained" artists may be a stereotype, but I suspect that there's more than a little truth behind it.
Why is it that you always think that everything is about YOU, FJ?
You have got to be the most narcissistic blogger on the internet today!
Z is OBVIOUSLY speaking to someone MUCH more intelligent and interesting than you!
Whoever THAT is, we surely wish them the best! Right, Z?
I think a lot of folks are dealing with that decision these days.
Wow, and I found FJ's response to be ever so fascinating. The Dryden poem is compelling, strange, beautiful... leaves me wanting to read much more from this obviously compelling poet whose reputation is eternal yet whose work remains essentially unknown to me. Anyway, many thanks for that, FJ, and thank you too Alice for that spiky comment of yours-- I thoroughly enjoy spirited, untethered verbal anger. Is there perhaps a feud going on between you two? If so, reserve me a front row seat, this sounds interesting. Z-- what have you started here? (Beautiful, thought-provoking post, I might add.)
I'm admiring this line "My faith rewards my love,"
I really like that....on a religious faith level as well..
I guess you have to view this as "to bloom or not to bloom.." but I have to admit it took some of the sentiment out of the blog sentence for me...
I guess I figured someone out there is staying safe, not grabbing all he or she needs from life or a situation, struggling to move on from something.....the realization that staying SAFE sometimes is MORE painful than taking chances made such a lot of sense to me when I first saw it, on my sister's wall at her apt. when she attended college. It spoke volumes to me at the time and I suddenly thought I should post it for ........someone. Who knows?
Alice....I'm a big fan of FJ, I took no umbrage! And I DON'T think HE is the most narcissistic blogger by a LONG shot!
It's always nice to have BOTH of you here. :-)
Also, I think we bloggers are all that way....we have so much love for this country, and passion, that we HAVE to write; it's why we bother to go to other sites and read and to also hope they'll come read us, don't you think?
I do
Hermit, some are being forced to these days, aren't they! May those who are facing troubles take some solace from it...I'd never thought of it in this way and appreciate your comment so much.
When one door closes another opens...and maybe it'll be a BETTER door though it seems impossible to face it when we're struggling so badly in this economy and in other ways.
Zack! As for FJ and Alice...nice they showed up at the same time, isn't it? Let's hope they keep this conversation up...I hope others join, too. I'm glad you liked the post.
Alice...I like the song, thanks.
Very inspiring words.
These days many of us will have no choice but to bloom in other directions because economics will force us into it.
Is there perhaps a feud going on between you two?You don't know the half of it, Zack. FJ acts like he owns my blog. I can seldom a get a word in edgewise... at MY OWN BLOG!
And Z, if he isn't the MOST narcissistic blogger on the internet, the guy certainly has to be in the top 10. And you're welcome for the song... it works on many levels for me.
One of these days, Alice...!
And Zack, I'm glad that I may have sparked your interest in Dryden. He's one of my favorite translators of Greek classics.
And thank you, Z for rallying to my defense. Alice can be such a harpy sometimes! Especially when she's on one of her, "I've just got to be the authentic me," kicks. I keep trying to convince her to channel the pain into new and creative directions, yet she insists upon realizing her dreams instead of sublimating them.
Well, I certainly wish her well. She's a braver soul than I.
And just WHAT is so wrong about just being authentic and expressing yourself and your feelings, FJ? Don't people deserve a little happiness in their lives? A little honesty? A modicum of self-respect? Must they always submit to traditions and social conventions and the expectations of others?
You are a T.R.I.P. FJ. And I don't intend THAT as a "compliment".
Hey, Alice...why no blog? You should start one.
I think "being authentic and expressing oneself" is highly overrated. Unless one's doing it to oneself. I think a little less 'honesty' probably promotes more respect from others!? Just a thought!
And, yes, I'm a kind of traditional girl myself...I have to admit!
"Let it ALL hang out", the mantra of the late Sixties and Seventies, was never something I thought was every a good idea!
FJ...but Dryden WROTE "A Hidden Flame", right? It's not a translation....or it wouldn't rhyme (so to speak). Does he have a lot of other poetry of his own?
"TO THE MOON, ALICE!" Ah, the HONEYMOONERS. makes me feel good watching them...I'm a tad bit young to remember the originals but they haven't really lost their charm for me on their eighth go around. Like Leave it to Beaver; Father Knows Best;...better, sweeter times, when people DID garner respect for not letting it ALL HANG OUT!
The Sixties called that UPTIGHT. I call it restraint and good manners.But, what do I KNOW!?
Alice,
Uncle Elmer wishes you would lay off FJ. He's our patron philosopher. We love him.
Yes they do deserve happiness, Alice. But they may also find that kind of authentic happiness short lived unless they realize that people can't continually achieve happiness by running away from problems instead of facing them down and making the best from bad situations.
And I might add, one means of achieving happiness or coping with a painful situation, however inauthentic this may appear to be, is to do what the poet in Dryden's poem does. It's almost as if Dryden's "lover" is in the early first or second stages of a courtly love affair. Think of Dante's Beatrice, Abelard's Heloise or even Quixote's Dulcinea
If only our emotions were like rivers and waterways, and we could damm up certain streams and know with any certainty whether the water would top the damn and/or obstructions we placed in them, form a new bed or be forced underground to spring into ancient channels previously damned.
But now I ramble. Have a great day, Alice.
Fj..you translate some incredibly brilliant, thoughtful Greeks, too?
"If only our emotions were like rivers and waterways, and we could damm up certain streams and know with any certainty whether the water would top the damn and/or obstructions we placed in them, form a new bed or be forced underground to spring into ancient channels previously damned."
or is that yours? wow
Elmer's Brother's RIGHT, Alice!
Stay out of this Uncle Elmer.... ;-)
This is between FJ and me. I've been meaning to have it out with him for a long time now.
And I do have a blog, Z, only I'm constantly being forced to re-build and re-create it due to FJ's incessant and obnoxious meddling into my personal affairs.
Now FJ, you know perfectly well that you can't and shouldn't spend your life wasting unhappily away in an untenable situation. There comes a time when you have to take matters into your own hands and change them yourself. Otherwise, you end up like Cinderella working your heart out for a thankless stepmother or building Castles on a Cloud like Cosette.
there was a time when i couldn't listen to that song.
Les Miserables is my second favorite musical...and I like a LOT of them. Fair Lady being my first favorite, of course.
The point, Alice, is to ask yourself whether or not the struggle is worth it? If I were to ask Fantine, what would she say?
There isn't much grace in the world that we can depend upon. And there aren't too many people in this world who are seeking the same ends we do.
oh, good, keep it up, FJ, I'll have to wring my keyboard.
Papa Frank seeks BURNT ends. (sorry) heh
...and yes Z, Dryden wrote "A Hidden Flame" and translated many classics in addition to producing many original works. He was also know for his more flowery poetic renderings of the originals, of which many were critical in that they thought he took too much license in making translations.
And no, I don't do any translating myself... although I do frequently and freely steal and then sometimes paraphrase the works of others...
Stay out of this Uncle Elmer.... ;-)If I have to.
BUT
I think FJ has a point. Suffering through hard times forges maturity. The Bible even says to count it all joy when we encounter tough times because it produces a mature faith.
Don't mean to preach but I think FJ has a point.
Well Fantine didn't have any choice, did she, FJ? Cosette was her illegitimate daughter and the baby didn't have a legitimate father to take care of her. Fantine had to sacrifice and do what she could for her kids. And after she was fired, she was even willing to sell her beautiful hair and work as a street walker to support Cosette, knowing the toll it would likely take upon her health.
Her kids meant everything to her.
Yes, Alice, we sacrifice everything for the things we value most highly. In Fantine's case, it was her own life's happiness for the happiness of her daughter Cosette. This sacrifice is what makes her deed so valuable and noble, even if foiled by the people who didn't uphold their end of the bargain.
And Fantine DID have choices. She could have run away and left Cosette with the innkeeper & wife. She could have resigned her child to an orphanage or worse. But she didn't. She "surpassed" herself. She "overcame" her authenticity. Her child was "worth it", to her anyway.
Not all people make the same choices though. The philosopher Rousseau never married and had quite a few children with his mistress. He consigned EVERY single one of his own eight(?) children to the orphanage.
He reasoned that that way, they wouldn't be spoiled, and would grow into their own "authentic" and "unspoiled" selves. And he could live his own "authentic" and unspoiled life. Of course, he had very powerful enemies (the enlightenment era Voltaire and the Encyclopediasts). "Emile" was a book he wrote about the proper way to raise a child... in a manner representing something completely different from what he had done in real life... and this, I think, haunted him.
But Rousseau sacrificed for something else entirely, his work on the future philosophy of mankind. Like Titus Andronicus earlier who sacrificed four and twenty sons for Rome. Or the Spartans who turn their sons over to the agoge at age seven so that they could develop the skills necessary to become the fiercest warriors in the ancient Greek world.
What do you sacrifice for Alice? What do you "value" thereby?
Right now I value my own creativity. My writing. My education. My parent's wellbeing I don't have any children to sacrifice for, but I'll probably have to think of them, one day.
Yes, Z-- I see now that you provide here a valuable forum, at moments approaching low-level psychodrama. A bit like coming in at the middle of an O'Neill play... but more literate! Also: Les Miserables is an incredible show, I agree... best thing in the past 40 years or so. "Who Am I" ...Top notch tune and lyrics. Anyone know any others by Schoenberg, besides the also-great "Miss Saigon"?
Alice: What an ordeal that sounds like, the unending building and then deconstrction of your blog-- you're like a cybernet Sisyphus. All due to FJ, huh? Little did I know what a serpent's nest I was getting into.
FJ: What, do you get in there at ALice's Blog and quote her to death with Dryden and Shakespeare? I'm intrigued. Also, thanks for that beautifully expressed rivers and dams bit of business. Like Z, I was floored (flooded?) by the eloquence. (Really.)
Like I said, you don't know the half of it, Zack. ;-) Of course, FJ creates havoc wherever he goes, whether to Berty's, Titus' and/ or Huge-O. I don't know why we all put up with him. I guess we kinda get a kick out of ganging up and tormenting him.
Are you the cartoonist that makes fun of liberals? Sounds like a fun job!
Well next time you visit our little Commedia dell'arte you should roll up your pantlegs and/or wear boots or old shoes. It can get rather deep in here at times.
Besides, I view blogging as a kind of workshop. There are no finished products, just lots of half-carved statues w/chippings surrounding them.
As I hinted to Z the other day, we like to "cobble" and "mend" soles (Act I Scene I - Julius Caesar)
Love your work, btw.
Zack, Alice should look at grappling with FJ as a gift. I've learned a LOT from that guy, but maybe she hasn't anything more to learn than he knows......!! Huh, Alice!?
FJ...Zack's right...I sense you hate to be complimented too much, but what you wrote about water and dams was incredible. I'm keeping it. thanks.
Thanks also for Les Ms reminders. I'm posting something MOnday
Well hopefully I haven't left you too many chippings to sweep up, Z, please keep whatever you like.
And Les Mis is probably the only play we'd trek down to DC to see on Christmas Day in a snowstorm... but having seen my son play Valjean in two student productions keeps us coming back year after year.
Is the sermon over, FJ? You should apologize to elbro for hogging the pulpit. Who do you think you are, Father Mapple? You climb up there and then pull the ladder up behind ya? Well, at least you weren't spouting another Tale of a Tub!
And Z, you won't learn anything from FJ that you didn't know when you had your very first conversation with him years ago at FPM. He never talks about anything new. It's either art or literature and he doesn't have a background in EITHER.
A don't fall for his little commedia dell'arte routine. This was a Mouse Trap if ever one had been staged... only this time the mouse got away!
Mouse Trap? Z knew nothing about a mouse trap, Alice.
I know that. YOU know that. But the mouse didn't!
Well, let's just hope the mouse doesn't sneak in here and cut the cheese instead of stealing it.
I don't mind if they steal the cheese. It's cleaning up the mouse droppings that I hate.
So, are you saying now that you're not going to set any more mouse traps?
Not for this one. Live and let live is my new motto.
You heard him, Z. Live and let live. I'd hold him to that promise if I were you, Z. I know I will.
Off you go Alice. Now why don't you go sacrifice a little of your precious time and effort to lending your life, and those of those others whom you love, some value. You wouldn't want to by authentic nothingness. The battle to create meaning is our neverending story.
erratum above - you would not want to become overrun by authentic nothingness.
Neither would you, FJ, neither would you.
I needed to hear this.
Your soles look in pretty good repair, beamish, why would you need to see this? Besides, there are plenty of people other than you, who could use a bit of cobbling and a refresher course in the meaning of life. They tend to only focus on the bright side of life and to forget the sacrifice and "passion" part that that gives it all meaning.
Z, very thought provoking and interesting. I must say it's been so long since I was a "bud", I think just not losing my petals is a gift at this point.
I think, to be serious, life is an adventure, no matter what we choose. I only know we never stop learning, and living and loving are gifts to treasure.
FJ, a beautiful contribution. I for one always enjoy your posts. Yes Elbro, we do love him.
My goodness Alice, what do we do here, except express ourselves. That's the point of it all isn't it?
From where I sit, I have the feeling you always get a word in edgewise.
Pris
Okay, I'll admit it. I do manage to get a few words in edgewise... but then he tells me to "burn them". What's up with THAT? ;-)
Thank you for your kind compliment, Pris. I always enjoy your posts as well.
And Alice, I never told you that you HAD to burn them. I merely asked you nicely to do so, and you've always complied with my requests. If you feel the need to blossom a little and get out more on your own, I understand. The Spring sunshine is simply wonderful!
"Mouse"? what mouse?
Alice, how did you know I'd corresponded with FJ at FPM? Were YOU there, TOO?
Beamish...you needed to hear that?
I needed to understand that.
Pris, FJ is the treasure of the blogosphere! (as is Elbro!)
Precisely. What mouse? You remember the Mousetrap, don't you, Z. It's from Shakespeare's play within a play from "Hamlet"
KING CLAUDIUS: What do you call the play?
HAMLET: The Mouse-trap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play is the image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is the duke's name; his wife, Baptista: you shall see anon; 'tis a knavish piece of work: but what o' that? your majesty and we that have free souls, it touches us not: let the galled jade wince, our withers are unwrung....and yes, I'll admit to once posting at FPM. I did so under a poet's false name, though. I forget it now.
Uncle Elmer, you never posted at FPM now, did you?
FJ, you suck melancholy from a blog like a weasle sucks eggs from a nest.
I have no idea what I mean by that.
Tio Bowser
Yes, I wondered if it was THAT mouse..from the TRAP.
I don't think Elbro ever did post at FPM.
Tio...that makes two of us. but it's poetic! I'd have never said FJ REMOVES melancholy from a blog, however..have you ever visited FJ's blog? VERY interesting. (it's the blog that makes me feel stupid because my suddenly quite apparent lack of the classics, but I still try!)
My apologies, Tio and Z. No more mousetraps on your blogs. I promise.
Z,
Why would I need to hear it? I guess I'm my own fiercest critic and the greatest fan of the world.
Beamish, I meant I needed to understand what YOU said you needed to hear! not WHY you needed to hear it. sorry about that... fj's so bright I have a problem following sometimes!! You're clever enough to 'get him'...not me, not usually!!!
I'll admit it!!
I like to hear you say you're a fan of the world. :0-)
Oh.
I was really needing to hear the original post and the whole thread.
"Pained artist" - I think that belongs on my resume.
Uncle Elmer, you never posted at FPM now, did you?Nope. I'm a relative newbie to blogging. Only 4 years.
Oh and thanks Z.
The "sucking melancholy" line was a take off of a Jacquez line from "As You Like It". The original Shakespeare, however, does not contain the word blog. Anyway, I still don't know what it means.
Alice, FJ: Thanks both of you for the kind remarks about my cartoons-- my own form of blotted, ink-stained chippings, I suppose.
FJ, is it a Commedia dell'arte around here or more along Grande Guignol lines?
Alice, I wish it were a "job" as you suggest, but jobs are those things that actually pay you for your work, as I recall. I've missed out so far on that part of the deal. I am however considering sending a bunch to the New York Times, just for laughs. Z, I promise if I do and they respond I'll share the sputtering apoplectic feedback with you.
Zack! you'd BETTER!! xx
FJ, is it a Commedia dell'arte around here or more along Grande Guignol lines? It can be... that depends entirely upon the season. Politics isn't in bloom, at the moment.
Jacques was a cynic, and much like me, can't stomach 'happiness'.
For some reason when you said "sucking melancholy, "Sucking lemons came to mind, not "As You Like It". Right, and not Stonewall Jackson, but Robin Williams....
I'll admit it, I do sorta "feed" on melancholy...
FJ, melancholy has beauty
Yep, the day has come.
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