Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Newspapers and who reads them...............kind of cute

Maybe most of you've seen this before but I don't think I had and a friend just emailed it to me.........It's pretty clever...

An easy guide to keeping political news in perspective...
 

 
1.  The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
 
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run  the country.
 
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
 
3.  USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times.  They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
 
4.  The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
 
5. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
 
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care, as long as they can get a seat on the train.
 
8.  The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. (probably on the Bar Car on Metro North)
 
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
 
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for.  There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy -- provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
 
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
 
12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.  Z: Or need something to hold over their heads because of the rain!


Got another one you'd like to post or a critique of any of the above?   Let us have it!


z

27 comments:

Ducky's here said...

I need the box score. The Globe has a great sports section.

Ducky's here said...

Glenn Beck fans still miss The Weekly World News.

Z said...

Ducky, what is The Weekly World News?

I know Glenn Beck did report(and will continue to give) very important news the mainstream lefty media won't give but I don't think he has a newspaper.

Layla Elizabeth Gonzalez said...

I loved it Z. Awesome

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. (probably on the Bar Car on Metro North)

Eight was my favorite though-this just had me laughing my butt off!

Z said...

Hi, Layla!
San Francisco was my favorite...I'm glad you enjoyed them all, too! xx

beamish said...

Ducky,

You have to admit that the UFO Aliens the Weekly World News supermarket tabloid reports on have backed the winning candidate in the last five Presidential elections.

Elmers Brother said...

I have the wall street journal delivered

Jen said...

http://youtu.be/g5vnZec964c

Skip to 2:55, Z

Jen said...

Hey Ducky, how are your RedSox doing???

Bwahahaha!!

ahem.

Ducky's here said...

Nah Beamish, they are all second to the story of Hillary adopting a space alien baby.

Ducky's here said...

Jen, shush.

When you can snatch the pebble from my hand you are ready for the Zen of Red Sox baseball.

Trying to get under the skin of a long, long time Sox fan? You'll need extensive training and a Bronx address.

Ducky's here said...

Who reads it to you, elmo?

Elmers Brother said...

Your mother duhkkky

Elmers Brother said...

I realize you're more of The Economist type guy so she reads that to me also

She told me you love the pictures

Z said...

Jen, THanks for that...I'd never HEARD of it...that's hilarious! Is it American or British??


Simon Jenkins still write for THE ECONOMIST? I was in his home in England, VERY cool! Only met him for a second but he was married to a lovely dark haired woman; let me Google ...The Brit actress GAIL HUNNICUTT...oops, looks like the separated in 2008....they had THE coolest 3-4 story Brownstone near Hampstead Heath.........
I wish I could live my life over again...but that I'd met Mr. Z much earlier. Ya, but then I wouldn't have been in London in 1979 having the time of my life.
Never mind :-)

MK said...

I thought the NYT was read by the same people who read the San Francisco Chronicle, just on the other side of the country.

Leticia said...

LOL!! So very true.

Jen said...

Ducky, we saw the RAngers play the Sox last week and it was a blast. Sat by some VERY nice RedSox fans...they bought me a beer, in fact. Very nice, indeed.

We had a good time, but they assured me that should I venture to Fenway, I'd need to leave my Josh Hamilton jersey at home...as EVERYBODY roots for the Red Sox at Fenway.

Hmmm. We'll see. ;-)

Jen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elmers Brother said...

The thing about the print version of The Economist is that the writer is rarely mentioned.

Jen said...

Z, it's from "So I Married An Axe Murderer", and Mike Myers plays himself and his Scottish father.

Love that movie...

Elmers Brother said...

My fave Jen.

beamish said...

I used to have the "12 US Senators Are Space Aliens!" Weekly World News cover on a T-Shirt.

Gramma 2 Many said...

Well, I do not buy the Seattle Times, because we eat very little fish. Husband is allergic, what a terrible thing to be allergic to, and I have an umbrella. I trust the umbrella not to leak.

Jen said...

I know elbro. One more reason I like you.

Speedy G said...

On Scurrilous Scribblers...

HIS soul extracted from the public sink,
For discord born he splasht around his ink;
In scandal foremost, as by scandal fed,
He hourly rakes the ashes of the dead.

Secure from him no traveller walks the streets,
His malice sees a foe in all he meets;
With dark design he treads his daily rounds,
Kills where he can, and, where he cannot, wounds.

Nature to him her stings of rancor gave
To shed, unseen, the venom of a knave;
She gave him cunning, every treacherous art,
She gave him all things but an upright heart;

And one thing more—she gave him but the pen,
No power to hurt, not even the brass of men,
Whose breasts though furies with their passions rule
Yet laugh at satire, pointed by a fool.

Was there no world but ours to give you room?
No Patagonia, for your savage home,
No region, where antarctic oceans roll,
No icy island, neighboring to the pole?

By dark suspicion led, you aim at all
Who will not to your sceptred idol fall;
To work their ruin, every baseness try,
First envy, next abuse us, then belie.

Such is your stretch! and thus awhile go on!
Your shafts rebound, and yet have injured none.
Hurt whom they will, let who will injured be,
The sons of smut and scandal hurt not me.


--Phillip Freneau

Faith said...

Very funny. Nailed the SF Chronicle.