I think Bloviating Zeppelin hit it out of the park for a New Year's Post...HERE.
Wow. He asks "In retrospect, what would you tell yourself at 16?" Go back, see where you were then, and tell yourself what you might like to say to 16 year old you today. BZ included things like "Go with your gut" "Buy stock in Google whenever you first see that name." Buy stock in Apple whenever you first see that name." "Hug your father more"...etc. WAY better ones than those are there, too....amazing insights and it takes a LOT of courage to be as honest as he is with other points he makes and then publish them, too. I'm actually hesitant to do it but will try here. I hope you go see his and that you chime in on the comments. "What would YOU tell yourself at 16?"
Z's list: Believe in yourself
Your opinions count
Don't judge, everybody pretty much means well and they didn't mean to hurt
Sex is for adults; keep saying no!
Drugs are stupid
Don't have that first cigarette, it's a killer and you'll probably like it.
Exercise like you want really good arms when you're sixty!
Put ALL your faith in God and never be embarrassed to talk about Jesus
Yes, your folks are as good as you think they are and they'll continue to show you that as you age
You're going to lose your loved ones, keep telling them you love them
If you don't do as well as you could in high school, you'll be stuck at a JC for 2 years
Your health will never be better than it is today; do things you won't be able to do later
Ignore your grandfather's sister, just be cordial
The world will start falling apart sooner than you thought. Stand firm on your conservative values and never let down on them......
You won't BELIEVE what your next years have in store for you! One is you'll be living in Paris and Munich, Imagine?
You'll marry late but you'll marry good.
I guess I could go on but they'd be more and more personal and..........that's that!
"What would YOU tell yourself at 16?" Share it in comments, please!
thanks...Z
xxx (Rita, I SAW THAT! Do I do that so much!?)
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40 comments:
Only when your sincere Z. That's why it's so special.
I love this topic, but it requires a bit of thinking and hitting upon a few sad truths.
*you're*
Rita, that's exactly what I'd wanted to write to you. I don't do it all the time!
don't worry about typos; we all make them.
Isn't this a good exercise though?? 'sad truths' is right. I could have made a much longer and more personal list. But I won't, that's for sure.
take it slow, take it easy
take it any way you can
take it all, take it freely, take it like a man
take it down the lonesome highway
down the lonesome railroad track
take it anyway you want to
but never take it back
--- Jack Hardy
Zephyr
Happy new year, Z! Thnx for stopping by my site this year.
(1) "Wholly reject the overwhelming, ubiquitous peer pressure of far left, ethnocentric, anti-West, anti-capitalist politics, even though it may seem like the cool thing to do. Power achieved via business begets a lot more respect than power achieved via charity, government or guilt-tripping."
(2) "No matter what you do, get a marketable skill first! Tech, skilled labor, nurse, whatever. That doesn't mean 'give up your dreams'. To the contrary, a more marketable skill will help you fuel your BEST dreams."
Those two pieces of advice would have shaved off about 15 years of aimless wallowing =)
Oh yeah, on a more universal level:
If you're male and a nerd, please understand that you probably won't get the hottest girls until you're 30-plus, and possibly even 40-plus. So it might suck now, but relax. It's coming =)
"You're running out of time that you can't be charged as an adult."
When I was 16, the Soviets launched the first orbital satillite-Sputnik. I told myself
take more math, more physics, more chemistry. I told my kids that when they were 16. Probably will
tell grandkids that....
I would tell myself: Study and forget about skipping school. Hang out with the geeks, they will eventually be the one's running and starting corporations. Stay away from the bad crowd. Don't smoke or drink. Respect mom. Go to college. Stay away from rocker singers and all musicians. And invest in Google, Apple and Oil. And most of all, don't wait in accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, Z. One of these I will learn your first name. :)
Z, I think this is a great post but I don't generally do this.
There are times when I play the "I should have..." game. I then look at my kids and my wife and wonder, what would I change? I could have done things that would have made us more financially secure but we still have a roof over our heads and we feed our kids.
I have a great wife and kids. What else do I really need at the end of the day?
I'm not trying to be a wet blanket, like I said it's a fun exercise. Just my thoughts for what they are worth...
Chuck, I think part of the intrigue of this post subject is everyone's take on it. Yours is absolutely valid. And I think it's terrific that you are so fulfilled in your life with your family.
BB...those were the days when science and math mattered; today, they're lucky to get GREEN instruction or how to put a condom on a banana!
Leticia, if you had an email address on your blog, I'd tell you ! :-)
net, where'd you get those?
The stuff about getting girls is hilarious! (and not always true, right?)
Beamish; leave it to you!
I was 16 in 1986 and certain the world was about to end in a nuclear holocaust anyway. ;)
But noooo, diplomats had to screw that up.
I'll say one thing about being sixteen:
I'll bet we ALL wish that we knew, now, only half as much as we THOUGHT we knew, then! :)
I do wish I had known all the things that I know, now
I hope that the coming year will be wonderful for you, and for all of us, Z.
I pray that none of the terrible things that we fear come to pass.
I am believing for good health, happiness, and real peace for us all.
Ok, here she blows:
Buy all the Microsoft stock you can get your hands on starting in 1978 I believe.
Ditto Apple a little later on.
Stop fooling around with the 35 y old next door.
Don’t be shocked when the blond leaves you at 18. She only wants marriage.
Start wearing underwear.
Stop smoking, don’t wait until you’re 40-something.
Seriously consider marrying the redhead at 25.
Go to college in the late 70’s and get a serious computer science degree.
Seriously, Date that girl that lives right down the street that the two of you got kicked out of the Avalon pool at around 13 for lude behavior. See what happens.
Seriously consider marrying the brunette you met at your brother’s college that weekend.
Seriously consider marrying the blond you met just before moving to Arizona.
Ask your dad for more advice.
Forget tap dancing.
No! Don’t marry the brunette !
Very Seriously consider marrying the other brunette who lived in Tucson.
Guess that’s about it. (3% of this was fake.)
When totally "goal' focused-
STOP- and remember to stay in touch w/ friends and family--
Happy NEW Year-My Friend!
Carol-CS
kid, my head is spinning. didn't know you were such a player =)
1. Find a mentor for each of the goals you have.
2. Forget engineering, and become an economist. In economics you don't have to be right.
3. Ask every good looking girl in school out, remembering that even with a 90% turndown rate, 10% can be 100% fun.
4. Find out where Kid lives and watch him.
Thanks for the linkage, Z, and have a GREAT New Year.
December 21st, here we come!
BZ
Jan, Yes, I think we all wish we knew then what we know now and would have plodded a different course for our lives.
Except Kid, who surprises us with a list that showed he marches to his own drummer :-)
KID! WOW! only 3%? I'm afraid to ask which...
BOB, that's an excellent list. I think the mentor mention is crucial ... gad, I'd do that, but now I'm old enough to be the mentor and have been for some time!
Loved your last one :)
net, isn't that something?
BZ...Dec 21?? And you're welcome; it was a FABULOUS blog post idea.
Be bold. Be brave. You're too young to think about safety, security and what others think.
My Dad had already told me, as a teen, to be true to myself. I did take that to heart even then.
Today I would tell my sixteen year old self, "self, someday there will be something called the internet.
Being a rather private person, and knowing this will be a public forum, I would say, be careful and don't spill your guts there for anyone or everyone to see"!
As it is, I've probably spilled enough already, just commenting.
Mom and Dad also told me, "always try to do your best".
So, for today, this is the best I can do, however, I am being true to myself.
net oberver, I never thought of it that way, just finding my way through life, but that is also a very brief summary.
Z, the no underwear and the 35 yr old were the fake parts. The 35 yr old was there next door, but my Mom never let me get within a foot of her.
Kid, I want to know about the lewd behavior :-)
And I want to know how many times you've married! HA!!
I'm REALLY glad the underwear thing was a lie!! And I adore your mother :-)
Z, haha
Well, we were in the pool, I had her in my arms as she was partially floating. My right hand was on her bottom, left hand around her back and we were randomly kissing. Lifeguard blew the whistle, pointed to us and yelled Get Out!
I'm currently married for the second time and it's all good.
We always wonder though eh Mademoiselle?
And geez, was that neighbor lady hot...Oofta as they say in North Dakota ;-)
Z, here's another one. I went 'steady' for 6 months with my Communion partner during 2nd grade. I walked to her house most days, but neither of us could think of anything to do other than go into her back yard and kiss a little, so we got bored and drifted apart...
OK, maybe I'll try a stab at this:
Lighten up girl, life does not have to be that serious.
Smarts outweigh looks. It may take 10 years for them to catch up, but girls who peak at 16 don't look so great at 30.
Sometimes alone is better.
Don't give up on love from just one tiny heartbreak.
Never settle.
Look beyond the lectures to see in your dad's heart.
Self, construction work is not for the old guys, so this time around, have your construction career first and THEN you can be a salesrepresentative. You really shouldn't be running a jackhammer when you are in your 50's and 60's.
That's it, I wouldn't change anything else.
Hi, AA and Happy New Year to you!
I hope that jackhammer isn't too heavy...I sure do understand the sentiment.
I'm substitute teaching TEENAGERS now, and while they're fabulous, I'm pooped when I get home...a happy pooped, but poooped nonetheless!!
by the way 'sales rep' isn't too much fun, but you probably know that!
I did get a LOT of lovely lunches and dinners from reps but...!!
Pris, how much more important can being true to yourself be, right?
You're lucky to have parents who instilled that in you. great comment!
Rita..another terrific list. I knew this post was a great idea of BZ's. I can't even pick a favorite from your list; good thinking, and thanks.
I wish young people could read these lists; I think it could help!
Kid, you're cracking me UP! That was 'lewd'?
I'm glad you're happily married...it's a very good thing, isn't it. I miss that beyond belief. Be good to her.
I'll bet that neighbor lady didn't age so well !!
And yes, we really never know, Monsieur......
Yes, that was apparently lewd for 13 and 1965. But it did seem a bit over-reactive at the time even then.
It's a good post. Thx BZ and Z for the idea.
Btw, Brad Paisley wrote a song a couple years ago about this very thing. It's called "Letter to Me".
Brad had a favorite aunt who passed away. When I heard one of the verses in the song, I told my nieces and nephews to listen to it.
It said, "P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you get."
If we could look back on those we have lost and been able to have just one more day.
I was named after my mom's twin. She was also our favorite aunt.
Kid, of course YOU thought it was over reactive..you were getting some :-) (heh!)
Rita...I've had women gripe about their husbands in front of me these last two years since losing my Mr. Z and I finally said to one "You know, I'd give ANYTHING for even one more of (his) WORST DAYS" (of which there were few, but you get the drift)
We have to cherish what we have ... acting like you love them when we're ticked or feeling one of those 'down times' makes us love them more and them love us more. WIn/Win. Just a little hint for when days aren't so good!
Z, Oh yes. ;-]
Great advice from you!
You might enjoy reading my overly-exposing partial Autobiography
That top of this story has links to the previous chapters.
Kid, I just picked SEX AND THE CITY to read first, of course!
I love the story about the nun.
In college, we had an ex-nun/teacher and she was in her late sixties, probably, but had THE highest stiletto heels on every day, tons of makeup, LONG false eyelashes and peroxided hair! Man, when she got out of the habit, she REALLY got out of the habit!
I thought the spanking thing was HILARIOUS! I hope you're writing more...........
Z, Just as I suspected! :)
I do need to write more, but those were the days! autobiographically speaking.
Hopefully inspiration will arrive.
Great thread.
1) Never leave a family member for any length of time without telling them you love them. Never go to bed without kissing your mom and dad goodnight if you have the opportunity.
2) Understand, your brothers and sisters will do anything for you. Your best friends are not your classmates. No matter the war between you and your siblings, when push comes to shove remember who will stand with you; your bro and sis. Respect.
3) At 16, you face pressure to conform and do some things you don’t want to. Instead, I suggest you seek to use your influence to sway your classmates to see your point of view. Recall, you may not have dozens of friends making a stand, but the friendships you do have will run deep.
4) Slow down. If you think high school is a world of possible fun, wait until you get to university. I ask that you live under my house rules and ethical standards until you leave here. Then, I can only hope I did my part.
5) When things are really good, stay even keeled. When things are really bad, stay even keeled.
6) As my pal ChuckyV said “Throw hard work at almost any problem and the problem is no longer a problem.
KP...excellent list, thanks so much for that. I agree with them all, especially the one about siblings.
What Would You Tell Yourself?
I thought of some sweet financial deals as well as a couple gals I should have dated. But then I got more thoughtful. Here is my list for the 16 year old KP:
Don’t leave a family member for any length of time without telling them you love them. Never go to bed without kissing your mom and dad goodnight if you have the opportunity.
Understand, your brothers and sisters will do anything for you. Your best friends are not your classmates. No matter the war being waged at 16 among your siblings, when push comes to shove, remember who will stand with you; your bros and sis.
At 16, you face pressure to conform and do some things you don’t want to. Instead, I suggest you seek to use your influence to sway your classmates to see your point of view. You may not have dozens of friends taking a stand, but the friendships you do have will run deep.
Slow down. If you think high school is a world of possible fun, wait until you get to university. Live within mom and dad’s house rules and ethical standards until you leave there. By then, you will have the foundation to guide you.
When things are really good, stay even keeled. When things are really bad, stay even keeled.
If hard work is how you handle a problem, it will resolve.
Keep surfing, like cycling and strength training it is a sport you can do for life.
Enjoy the family home on Calle Ocho, in Carpinteria, California. It’s a little crowded but it’s only a few feet from an untouched beach where you catch and cook fish, laze in the sun, build fires at night and sleep under the stars. It is one of the nicest locations on earth and is full of love.
Hug your mother and tell her how much you respect her. She is an original. Can you see? She is back in college at age 40. She will get her degree and begin teaching. Yes, she reads Ms Magazine and is always talking about the woman’s movement, but she is right. Hear her roar.
Keep the dream alive to become a beach lifeguard for the Santa Barbara County Lifesaving Association. Those Junior Lifeguard experiences will serve you well. One day you will be president of the organization and work on beaches from the Rincon to Santa Barbara and in between. You will pinch yourself when they pay you to work under the sun, stare at the Channel Islands and train all day. Oh, and the girls!
I know the bike is not that cool and you are the only sophomore in high school with a driver’s license; but keep riding that thing. You are going to cycle all over New Zealand, Australia, Hawaii, California, Florida and Canada. You will meet some great friends and learn more about yourself than you can imagine.
Continue to hug and kiss your dad the way you do. Have conversations about little things, the meaning of life and how much you enjoy one another’s company. He is a great man. On May twentieth, at 9:30am, the day after you return from college for the summer of 1976 he will pass with you by his side in an ambulance. This will be life altering but you will have left nothing unsaid. Be sure to get off the phone with your girlfriend the night of the nineteenth to kiss him goodnight; if you do not you will regret it the rest of your life.
When you are twenty two and at the University of the Pacific you are going to meet nineteen year old Laurie Campbell. Stop watching her from afar and ask her out on a date! If you do this you will fall in love, live the rest of your life with her and have two wonderful daughters.
I know you do, but sit on the cliff above Jelly Bowl; listen to the ocean and watch the sunset. You will see the green flash and those sunsets will be the best of your life. They are free and you have the pleasure of them every evening, year round.
Finally, go ahead, grow a mousctache. Your 16!
1. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
2. A copy of two of Kipling's poems A) If, and B) The Gods of the Copybook Headings
3. Remember that "A friend is someone who knows all about you, and likes you anyway."
4. You reap what you sow.
~ FreeThinke
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