Tuesday, February 3, 2009

"WHY?"


"Why, Why, Why?"

Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know there is not enough
money?

Why does someone believe you when you
say there are four billion stars, but check
when you say the paint is wet?


Why do they use sterilized needles for death
by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his
chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there
still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble
bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not
on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that something
new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string
a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give the vacuum one
more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end on your first try?


How do those dead bugs get into those
enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and
someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do
we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right,
so why don't we say, "That really hurt, why
don't you watch where you're going?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to
catch something that's falling off the table
you always manage to knock something
else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house
as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law
jokes?

And a FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity is that one out of
every four persons are suffering from
some sort of mental illness. Think of your
three best friends -- if they're okay, then
it's you.

Z: Just thought we could use a laugh these days (these are not written by ME, by the way, though I'm guilty of quite a few of them! Particularly the refrigerator one).....I found them clever, I hope you did, too!

.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think one in four is a little low; otherwise, Obama would never have been elected to the presidency.

Anonymous said...

Wwwwwwooooooooo!

I needed that, Z.

I have one more, though...

Why haven't they invented powdered water?
-Steven Wright

Average American said...

What is the last thing that went through the bugs mind as it hit your windshield?

Anonymous said...

These are good ones Z! Thanks.

Morgan

Anonymous said...

Just because I say so.

elmers brother said...

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

There's probably a union, a government official or his brother in law with the needle sterilization business involved.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

There's probably a union, a government official or his brother in law with a useless flying helmet business involved.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

There's probably a union, a government official (EPA) or his brother in law with a bubble bath making business involved.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

You didn't know there was union?

I.H.S. said...

Z, good stuff. This is how I would like to start all my work days, with a laugh.

I think I have some: Why does cling wrap only stick to itself?

Why does microwaved food get cold fast?

Why is a twenty year doctor still considered to be practicing medicine?

Why does it rain only after you wash your car?

Why does time seem to drag when you're at work, but when you're with friends you don't know where the time went?

Why does it rain cats and dogs and never horses and cows?

Blessings.

elmers brother said...

Why does it rain cats and dogs and never horses and cows?

IHS..I don't think you'd survive having a cow land on your head...duh.

J/K

Z said...

Elbro, VERRY VERY good one on the unions...So smart! And no, nobody'd survive with cows raining down! But he DID have a point!

I.H.S...good additions!

Pinky...that powdered water thing just might be yet another apologetic for the existence of God!?

Mustang...good one...sad, but good!

elmers brother said...

that's why I put the just kidding at the end

Ducky's here said...

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

------------------

To prevent accidental infection of someone handling them during the execution.

Ducky's here said...

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

---------------

And why doesn't that marooned fat guy on "Lost" ever lose weight?

Thomas Lawrence said...

I hate to admit that I do that string thing with the vacuum. LOL

Pat Jenkins said...

z your "why" poem out does kipling's if... well done!

Pat Jenkins said...

i was hoping we could play the name that caption game again today z. this time for the lady who set the world's record for the biggest breast augmantation! 38kkk i think it was! oh well.

Z said...

Pat, gee..I MISSED that..darn (not!)
What's YOUR caption for that, or should i ask?
I DID NOT WRITE THESE, by the way!! Thanks for the flattering though! I'll go add that to the post, I hate to seem dishonest.

Elbro..I know..just had to JK YOU!

Anonymous said...

CUTE!


~ FT

elmers brother said...

I just wanted to make sure IHS knew I was kidding

I.H.S. said...

Elmers Brother, I got it, really. And it was funny but I have 65lb. American Pitbull Terriers and with that weight you wouldn't survive either. :)

Blessings.

elmers brother said...

AH OH!

Z said...

Elbro..tell I.H.S. about your HORSE..that one weighs a TON!

elmers brother said...

yeah but it's really hard to toss him

I.H.S. said...

Don't know if I'd have an animal I couldn't toss from time to time, Elmers Brother. J.K.:)

I love my doggies and would never toss them. I did a post featuring them, "better than a dog" with there pics.

Blessings.

Law and Order Teacher said...

Z,
Thanks for the laugh.