Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters -- misspellings, bad sentence construction or choice of words all make for fun reading. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. Bring your husbands! It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn-singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin!
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance
Z: Things like these really do get typed...We had a typo in our church bulletin about 4 weeks ago I honestly can't publish here it was SO raunchy!
z
14 comments:
Z, I'm laughing so hard the tears are about to run down my leg!
Hey, Average...you any relation to Chris Matthews?! LOL! (I'm glad you enjoyed these, too...I sure did!)
Z, these are priceless. Really funny.
Pris
You can never hear these too many times. So funny.
About your picture....where is that taken and is it a photograph or a painting? Lovely, lovely, lovely.
Needed a chuckle today. Thanks!
Z, these are funny. I might add that the way I type, it is a 'but for the grace of God' type of thing in my mind.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. Bring your husbands! It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
I won't let my wife see this one.
The picture is great.
Those are always so good for a laugh! Thanks.
LOL! And the picture is wonderful too! :)
"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."
Fantastic! LOL!
Too bad those are typos. I saw a couple there where I'd be transferring my letter right now!
These are really hilarious. I work on the computer with my Ipod earpieces in. I was laughing and my wife thought I was nuts. Come to think of it, there's not much different there. The church is beautiful, where is it?
Sorry, all I know about the church is that it's Yahoo Images and it's certainly NOT in LA! I'm glad you all liked it, too. I found it gorgeous.
Am I related to chris Matthews? What did I do to get you that mad at me Z?
Good chance that church is in New England somewhere.
We once had an embarrassing typo with the word this in on of our bulletins. Poor secretary was so embarrassed.
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