Does God gives us CLUES? the nudge is ringing...so answer the nudge!

A friend of mine died tonight. She was 96 years old and 100% mentally 'with it' and 80% physically well. She still drove and her license wasn't to expire until her 100th birthday. Nikki was Japanese and you never ever spoke to Nikki for more than half an hour before she'd tell you about having been put in an interment camp and how difficult that was. She was a widow for many years and had some sons but I don't know that much about her other than that. I do know she was a Christian woman of strong faith and the oldest member of our church.

It's been a particularly difficult time for me lately, somehow I think my subconscious is finally buying into the fact that my Mr. Z is really, really gone. I've also had piles of paperwork for various things and I'm dealing with a lot of other situations, too....let's say the months since Mr. Z died have been tough and lately it's been even tougher. So, on top of all of that, word of Nikki's death was a bigger blow than it might have been, I took it pretty badly. Here's another reason I'm taking it badly: Somehow, I KNEW she'd be dying soon. I knew because something told me to call her up these last few months...... "CALL HER". And I didn't. She attended our church at a different time than I did but I'd occasionally see her there or I'd just figure I'll call her when I get around to it. We weren't close friends, I just liked her and respected her and I felt a call might make her happy, it might make a very old and dear lady's day just thinking about how someone had called her and wanted to chat. "CALL HER" is something I've heard before. This is the 'clue' I mentioned in my subject line of this post.

I have had this "Call" thing happen three times.........Obviously, Nikki was very old so I knew she'd die some day fairly soon, but she was VERY healthy and she could have lived for another ten years, why not? It's easy to understand why I felt some degree of urgency to call someone her age...but I hadn't! I'd been busy and lazy at the same time. Over the last twenty years or so I particularly remember two people I knew who'd died and, only a few months before they did, I'd frequently felt that very strong nudge to call and, for some reason or another, I didn't. I was busy, or in the shower when I thought of it, or was in the car.......I didn't call. And then I found they'd died. Each time it has happened, I've thought "Next time you get that feeling, CALL! I'll never ignore that feeling again!" But, alas.....

Tonight, I told a 40 year old girlfriend, "If I ever call your husband John and ask how you're doing, you'd better double up on your vitamins!"
So, my blog's about this and meant to be a nudge to you all; Call someone next time you think of them. Call an elderly person because that twenty minutes or so you might talk will tell her or him you care and, let's face it, some elderly people don't talk to anyone all day long. Call. Or, call a friend just to say hello.......Call when you feel like it. Call when you don't. Call when that person comes into your mind frequently over a period of time, trust me.

This is the end of my self-serving sermon. I say self-serving because maybe I'm feeling such guilt over not having called Nikki that it eases some of my guilt if you call your friend? I don't know... Mostly, I just don't want you feeling like I do tonight. I'll get over it, I'm not eating my heart out over this, but I do feel it. I liked Nikki very much.

I hope she knew it. That, I guess, is my point.
Rest in peace, dear Nikki..........say hello to my Mr. Z.
z