I don't know who made these up, but I think they're funny and hope you do, too. We can ALL use a laugh!
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO--Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets a cold shoulder.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use
z
5 comments:
Good one, Z.
You missed one, though.
Congressional Oversight: The House Banking Committee's number one excuse for substandard performance.
How about Senate Committee for Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs - the latest, greatest reason to revisit the separation of powers doctrine.
Ha! too true, Z.
Sweetheart says "we lost xxx amount today!"
I say, "nope, not if you didn't sell".
ugh. "Don't look" is my motto.
GOOD FOR YOU, Pinky.
Just HOLD ON!! It'll come back.
"Don't look" is my motto, too..it's ALWAYS come back.
The only thing that will jeopardize that is an Obama win. We can't tax another company..not now. But, he doesn't understand.
My accountant says:
"When you're on a roller-coaster ride, the only time you can get hurt is if you jump off before it stops."
J.J.J. Schmidt
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