Friday, July 8, 2011

"I love coffee, I love tea, I love the Gaza Jive and it loves me......*.."


The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese  -  eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian  -  drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli  -  sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian  -  blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.---
BEAMISH'S ADDITION is SUBLIME : American leftwinger would work towards the day everyone has a fly in their coffee.

Excellent, isn't it.   Aren't YOU percolating just reading it? 

Let me add one:

The American leftwinger - sees the device the Israelis invented, wonders why the Palestinians couldn't do that, and swallows the Palestinian fly-jive whole.
*My title is from JAVA JIVE, a song made most famous by the Ink Spots and Manhattan Transfer.


nicrap said...

...and the American conservative blogs about it all and calls it "SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS".

p.s. just kidding. :)

Z said...

nicrap??? I don't get it :-)

Opus #6 said...

The American leftwinger BLAMES the Israelis for somehow preventing the Palestinians from inventing their own fly-preventing machine. And they demonstrate against checkpoints protecting against explosive coffee house attacks.

nicrap said... definitely have a sense of humor, Ms. Z. I was afraid you might take offense, and posted after much hesitation. :)

Beth said...

Love it!

Speedy G said...

Cafe? Caliente is the only way to drink it. ;)

And I think that nicrap probably believes that the only thing that conservatives seem to be good for is complaining (verba non acta).

Z said...

Opus, good ones!


Beth, really good, isn't it! I wish I'd written the whole thing!

Speedy G...I got it!

Speedy G said...

More on the lives of liberals and conservatives... ;) a democratic land of "no matadors".

nicrap said...

...c'mon G. I was merely bringing up the rear of what was really a very good joke.

...what is more, I personally prefer duels to any wars, wherein i believe there are no sides to be taken. :)

Brooke said...

That is too good!

Another: The Irishman grabs the fly by the wings, hits it on the back and tells the fly to give the coffee back. ;)

beamish said...

I thought the American leftwinger would work towards the day everyone has a fly in their coffee.

Z said...

Brooke, good one...even funnier if we said the Irishman was drinking IRISH COFFEE! "Take the coffee, give me back the booze!"!! :-)

Beamish, I'm adding that to the post...absolutely PERFECTION.

nicrap....I often think about the women waiting for the duals to be over; how horrible! Especially if it was over THEM!! The GUILT!

Karen Howes said...

LOL, Z, thanks for this-- perfect on a dreary, rainy day.

I think I'll go make a cup of coffee now... sans insects.

Pris said...

Z, how clever this is. Perfect, can't add a thing.

Joe said...

"Waiter, what's that fly doing in my coffee?"

"It looks like a back-stroke, Sir."


"Waiter! There's a fly in my coffee."

"Shhh! Be quiet, or everyone else will want one, too."


"Waiter, why is there a fly in my coffee?"

"We like to make sure our guests get their daily protein ration."


Does anybody want me to go on?

Impertinent said...

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long.
He builds his house and stores supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool.
He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and fed, while others are cold and starving!

CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of shivering grasshoppers, next to a video of an ant
in his comfortable home, with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast! How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer this way?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah, with the grasshopper.
Everyone cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the news stations film the group
singing "We Shall Overcome".
Jesse then has the group pray for the grasshopper's sake, and reminds the group to contribute to his group, so that he can "continue the fight" for grasshoppers, everywhere!

Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim, in an interview with Tom Brokaw, that the ant has gotten rich, off
the back of the poor grasshopper!
Both call for an immediate tax hike, to make the ant pay "his fair share"!

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity For Grasshoppers Act", retroactive to the beginning of the

The ant is fined for failing to hire the proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his house is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper, in a defamation suit against the ant.
The case is tried in federal court, with a jury comprised of unemployed welfare recipients.

Surprise! The ant loses the case!

The story ends, as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food, while the government house he lives in (which happens to be the ant's old house) crumbles around him,
due to lack of maintenance!

The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found, dead, in a drug-related incident.
The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders, who terrorize this once-peaceful neighborhood.

The moral of this version? Don't vote for Democrats or liberals.

MK said...

The Aussie leftwinger - sees the device the Israelis invented, insists racism and oppression is why the Palestinians couldn't do it as opposed to their stupidity, and calls for a boycott of Israel and all things connected to Israel.

Finally, he/she/undecided feels that some sort of tax should be imposed upon all Australians to help the palestinians out of their self-induced toilet.

Z said...


Imp....very, very good. And good moral!

MK: that is excellent, too! The one about Australians is SO clever, thanks!

Michael G Miller said...

A lawyer from PETA and a representative from the UN's Human Rights Division arrive on the scene and demand that reparations be paid to all relatives of the fly who was harmed by any nations whose nationals were involved in the aforementioned flyicide, and to any Palestinians that behave like flies, and if you think about it, that would be quite a few.

MGM in Anderson IN