Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Was Weiner actually CHEATING?

Apparently, most people think that internet sex is cheating........some do not.  HERE is an article on the subject.
The sentences below in italics are from the article:

"I've seen married people go to great lengths to cover things up, hiding phone bills and the like," says Young, a practicing psychologist. "But they don't think it's cheating. They say, 'I love my wife.'"
The most recent was a 2004 ABC News poll, in which 64 percent of adults felt that "if a person who's married or in a committed relationship has sex talk in an Internet chat room," they would consider that being unfaithful; 33 percent would not.
So...what do you think?  Maybe you'll feel awkward commenting here, but I'd like to see what you think if you're up for it.  so to speak :-)

Is it cheating to get nude photos or send them?  Is it cheating to send suggestive, flirtatious texts?  TRUST means everything to me....same with you?  And, personally, I don't consider it cheating unless two people are engaged or married.   Do you?



Silverfiddle said...

It's cheating. I posted on the same thing today. Great minds think alike!

If you're having sex with a computer instead of your spouse, there's something wrong with you.

Doing such things is a violation of trust, and trust is the bedrock of a good marriage.

Always On Watch said...

Is it cheating to get nude photos or send them?

Yes, especially sending them. Get one nude photo and forbid any more -- not cheating.

Is it cheating to send suggestive, flirtatious texts?

Depends on how suggestive, how flirtatious.

Silverfiddle is exactly right with this:Doing such things is a violation of trust, and trust is the bedrock of a good marriage.

Once the trust is broken, the marriage is likely over.

Joe said...

As with ALL sin (or "misbehavior," if you are an un believer), it begins and ends with attitude...that is, in the mind.

Read the Sermon on the Mount for an apt description of what our attitudes should be.

So, yes. Internet cheating is cheating because it is the mind that cheats before the body does.

beamish said...

Depends on who's credit card gets used.

::ducking and running::

Speedy G said...

Genesis 4:

7 - If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

Opus #6 said...

I'd like to see the poll broken down by Repubs versus Libs. I bet the permissive ones are libs.

Which allows Wiener to get away with his bad behavior. He is lucky. No woman, not even a porn star, would want to admit bedding him IRL, so he will not have to face up to those kinds of claims.

beamish said...

Let he who has God's eyesight shed the first tears.

cube said...

Honestly, I think this would be less hurtful than an actual affair, but it would still be hurtful.

Dave Miller said...

Get real Opus... there wasn't any political thought in Z's post, but of corse someone just had to go there.

For years conservative protestant churches taught that only the final act was sex, anything else was sexual, but not sex.

It was this line in the sand theology that led President Clinton to say he never had sex with "that woman."

Believe me, bad behavior comes from all sides of the political spectrum, even if you choose to believe it no so.

Z... I think it is cheating of the heart...

Z said...

Oh,Dave! I think that president Clinton was old enough and seasoned enough to know what sex really was no matter what he learned in his little Hope, Ark church growing up, don't you? :-) You think HE believed that oral sex wasn't sex? REALLY?

Dave, these may not be a political points, either, but:

which party members would generally be more against people breaking the law to enter our country?

which party members fly the flag more often?

which party members wouldn't take welfare as quickly as the other might?

which party members are more against killing unborns?

which party members roll up sleeves and fix their flood disasters and which wait for government help?

While there are people from both sides pro and con those things, I believe that there's a distinct siding of one or the other, don't you? And i think we know the answer about which party?

Dave...everybody on all the stations are 'going there'...I even heard Rachel Maddow say that the Right always gets a break and that she keeps David Vitter's picture (which she kept holding up to the camera like a crazy person) in her office to "keep her grounded", I believe was her terminology? ?? I was roaring with laughter yesterday as I watched her; I'd seen her before but the very idea that Republicans get the breaks in the media about did me in!!! really funny! Ya, this, sadly, shouldn't be political, but it's ALL about politics.

We're so divided and so hateful here now that something like this is all it takes for the accusations and lies to start.

Silverfiddle......I'll have to come by and see your post! Usually, Chuck and I are in sync!

TRUST is everything, as I wrote in my post. Actually, I think it's probably the biggest thing I miss since my husband passed away. His hug and that I knew he was faithful, trust that he put me first, trust that he'd protect me, trust that he'd like what I made for dinner (Smile!)...
What do you have in a marriage without TRUST?

AOW; Good point about getting a nude photo and forbidding or not opening more...

Joe; the mind first; yes...good reminder.

Opus, I'd have thought that, too, let's see if it gets to 'live sex'!

Cube; imagine being this guy's wife after all of this? Well...imagine in ANY situation!? :-)
Then, because this is so troubling, they're talking about his getting THERAPY! Man, maybe he just has little integrity and less character.
Why's everybody have to talk about THERAPy? .. Maybe it's to make it appear that he can't help it, he just gives in to this weaker self and needs a doctor to help him? ya, probably.

Bob said...

Z: That's not a fair question.

Everybody knows it is not appropriate to get between a man and his porn. There are some things we have to hold apart from marriage, or we become slaves of our women. That's just wrong!

On the other hand, we all know that once you start acting on desires, that can be cheating. I have often thought it at least unfair, and certainly unrealistic for the Bible to tell me that lusting in my heart is as bad as adultery. There is truth in these words, though.

I read, recently, that romance novels are to women as what porn is to men. So, what's up with that, ladies?

I have been a bit facetious in this comment, but must point out that there can be a lot of latitude in cheating or not cheating on one's mate.

As far as Weiner's particular problems, they are his and I don't particularly care to pass judgement on others except to say the guy is a slimy little snake.

Spurious Missives

Anonymous said...

We should strive to avoid behavior that hurts others, but this is particularly true for those who occupy a special place in our lives. We don’t always do that, of course; we are all human and prone to making mistakes. But we should strive to treat others with respect. I do think this issue is about about respect: for himself, for his spouse, and the “strangers” he contacted with outlandish suggestions.

I agree with Charles Krauthammer that Weiner needs professional help. I also agree with Krauthammer that republicans should not transform this into a political football. Nothing good can come from kicking wounded people, even when the wound is self-inflicted. That all said, I do think Weiner is an arrogant ass and I have no empathy for him. I’m glad he’s taking responsibility for his behavior —I’m waiting to see if he will accept the consequences.

Sam Huntington said...

In a recent poll involving 500 Brooklyn citizens, 18% are disappointed with their congressman, 51% think what he did is kewl, and 30% wondered, “Who is Weiner?” The majority appear to agree with William Jefferson Clinton that oral sex isn’t sex.

Dave Miller said...

Well Z, Vitter is a good example... since he actually broke the law by hiring a prostitute, where were the Republicans then calling for his resignation?

Doesn't it strike anyone as odd, or at least political that Rep Cantor has called on Weiner to resign but felt the decision on Vitter should have been left up to the voters?

As for your list, I am sure I could respond with a list just like yours extolling the strengths of the Democratic Party.

I am willing to accept that there are many good things coming from the GOP faithful. I've even voted for a number of Republicans in my life and will continue to do so when I believe they have the better candidate.

I am not sure many from that party would say the same of the Democrats. it is why we are unable to seek compromise, agreement, and move ahead on the tough issues.

It was that spirit that allowed Ronald Reagan to push through record tax increases as both Governor of California and President.

Anonymous said...

Z - the thing that bothers me is that we elect so many 'Stoopid' people to political office. Anything put on the internet, including your blog, is publicly available to anyone else. Maybe we need to restrict our public servants to a much smaller time in office so there's less chance for them to embarass us with their ignorance?
~ Will

Z said...

Dave, I think nailing one party's transgressor and not the others' is silly. But, for Maddow to even hint that Republicans get the breaks inside the beltway WAS good for a laugh!

and, with Weiner, I think it's up to his constituents to call for his dismissal, not Eric Cantor. Or me, Or you.

You said "I am not sure many from that party would say the same of the Democrats."

I doubt that, too, though I would have had I had a chance to vote for Pat Moynihan or Tip O'Neil...I might not have agreed with them on much but I felt they loved this country and understood that SOcialism wasn't for America. Frankly, I don't see that much in Democrats today, Dave.
I'm TIRED of supporting illegals, I'm tired of the fact that California illegals can now get tuition paid for when my friends have to support their American-born kids in College!!
I'm tired of Obamacare threatening my wonderful doctor and my care, I'm tired of bigger government and how the bailouts probably set our recession back instead of healing it..
I'm TIRED of BIG GOV'T intervention and ya, so I probably couldn't think of a Democrat right now who I don't feel thinks big government is America's savior...
BY the way, I can hardly think of a Republican I'd vote for today...except they are, at least, not Obama. think compromise is impossible because of the Republicans? WOW.
You probably think they have no ideas re warming or healthcare, too. The media's been pretty good at obfuscating that.
I WISH you could have heard Breitbart on MediaMatters and how contrived the attacks on the Right they control Amanpour, Zacharias and other liberal journalists who work for SOros via was stunning but it'll go nowhere because the msm will cover it up. THAT is UPSETTING to the square, as Mr Z would have put it.

Bob...there IS a 'lot of latitude', you're right.
And yes, I imagine some romance novels ARE a type of porn, no doubt about it!
I suppose anything's okay if your spouse is okay with it...the man and woman involved in the situation are the only people this should have anything to do with, or judge it, etc.

BUT, we're faced with pictures and women coming forth about Weiner, and it's probably bigger than we'd have hoped it would become.
I'm thoroughly convinced that had Breitbart not been so thoroughly angry at the SHerrod lies and the way the left took after him for exposing Planned Parenthood and SEIU, he'd have gone gentler on this; he doesn't give a darn about the salaciousness of this situation, he's not a prude....but he DOES care about bringing down liberals as nasty and damning as Weiner is and those who did lie about him.
Frankly, I was surprised he agreed to go on O'Reilly last night because... they have a history that's not too pleasant.

Z said...

Will....I'm ALL for term limits :-)
Good comment and really good to see youxx

Ducky's here said...

In a legal sense, no.

He's just been a power drunk dirt ball. History's full of them but advances in consumer electronics open new possibilities,

Pris said...

It wouldn't bother me if Mr. Pris looked through a Playboy magazine, or nude paintings, photos of women, or a strip show, for that matter.

But, what Weiner did was look for a sexual interaction between he and a woman other than his wife. Whether he knew them or not, it's the interaction and his exhibitionism that matters.
To me, that's cheating.

To me, anyone who has a predilection to exhibit him or herself to the opposite sex when in a committed relationship, is cheating.

Bd said...
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Bd said...
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Bd said...

Z: you really should be 'tired' of believing the lies from the right cause your post is full of them. If fact, almost completely. Who the heck are you listening too anyway? Rush? Savage? You are so off the mark it's scary.

Dave Miller: Great post. you'll notice no one commented. That's becasue they could care less for the truth or level headed discussion but rather the loony lies they are fed to keep their ire at a peak.

Z said...

BD! What? are you drinking? Can you link us what's not true in my post? :-) I can't WAIT!
And, sshhh, don't look NOW, but I DID comment to Dave.

good try, though! :-)

Dan said...

When you make up the definition of cheating to make your favorite politicians look innocent I guess you could say that no Democrat politician has ever cheated and ever conservative one has.

But when people are cheated on... they know it. They don't have to go and ask CNN.

Brooke said...

I think what makes this cheating is not so much the act but the intent.

He turned his lust towards a woman other than his wife, and therein is the cheating.