Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Faith Blog

"Hurt people hurt people"

Apparently, this phrase isn't unknown because I just Googled it and there are books and articles with that title, but I had never heard this concept put quite in this clever way and a friend mentioned it yesterday and I thought it was profound and cleverly put. We all know that hurt people hurt people, but I think it helps to remember it. Very hurt people can have trouble being kind, open, respectful, and turn to sarcasm or belittlement. Because THEY are hurt. I believe it's a cycle that recognition and FAITH can help.

"But if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 1 John: 7. Worth thinking about, no?

Have a wonderful Sunday. Walk in the light.......... z


JINGOIST said...

Good morning and G-d bless you Z.

Chuck said...

I had never heard this phrase before but I see it all of the time. Just didn't have a name to put to it.

Linda said...

I agree with Chuck. We need to be available for the 'hurting people'.

Have a blessed Lord's Day, Z!

Always On Watch said...

"Hurt people hurt people"

As a teacher of over 35 years, I well know this fact.

I'd also add the following:

"Emotionally neglected people hurt people." I don't see this problem nearly as much with homeschoolers, but did see this problem all the time in the traditional classroom, both public and private.

Anonymous said...

There's truth to this I think. We tend to want to help people who have been so hurt. But, at the same time, there are those who'll use you up.

I've seen it. I haven't experienced it myself, but I've seen it.

Faith is probably the best cure for a soul which is suffering, but they have to want it IMO. I think it's a complicated state of being.

""Emotionally neglected people hurt people"

AOW - I agree with you. I also think there are those who seemed to have everything, who came from good loving families, who take the wrong road.

However it's interesting isn't it that some who had difficult childhoods go the opposite track from what they experienced. I've seen that too, and knew someone who did.

I think when you get right down to it, this raises more questions than it does answers. Very interesting though.

Perhaps the best answer is, "God helps those who help themselves".


Anonymous said...

It makes perfect sense. We've been hurt and we forget how to be tender with ourselves and others.

Elmers Brother said...

funny I started memorizing that chapter in I John this week.

Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Pris wrote wisdom from the ages: "We tend to want to help people who have been so hurt. But, at the same time, there are those who'll use you up."

There must be logic, rationality and PROPORTION in all we do. We sometimes forget this in our searching.


Reminds me of a Truism when I was working as a Child Abuse detective: "Not all those who were abused WILL abuse; however, all who abuse WERE abused."

Anonymous said...

Thank you BZ.

"There must be logic, rationality and PROPORTION in all we do. We sometimes forget this in our searching."

Yes, so true, and wise. Having done the work you have, you must have seen things that would try your soul. I can only imagine how heartwrenching that work must have been.


Law and Order Teacher said...

I've always wanted to think that there was a reason for all the evil in the world. I want to believe that hurt people hurt people. But I have a hard time thinking that there is any other explanation for evil other than evil.

How about this, "Evil people do evil things?" This may very well be a blind spot for me, but I have trouble wiping this out of my mind.

Maybe I've seen too much.

Faith said...

Here's how I think about this: We're all born selfish, that's original sin. That includes snatching toys out of siblings' hands, hitting, kicking and pushing from the earliest age. But we're also all born with different degrees of natural sweetness or meanness etc. The bad side can be toned down by wise parenting or positive life experiences, or it can be exacerbated by insensitive or brutal experiences -- then you get the hurt people who hurt people. Naturally sweet easygoing natures may rise above hard experiences while hard or touchy natures may be made harder.

Z said...

Faith said "The bad side can be toned down by wise parenting or positive life experiences, or it can be exacerbated by insensitive or brutal experiences -"

This is why I fear so much for society; mothers used to be home toning down, advising, kissing hurts, modeling kind behavior, etc..

We have a society (tho I know many of us who know fine families) on the whole which is comprised of children who, by far, aren't being raised in two parent households, who are not taught good from evil,l basically, faith is silly, God is a myth, the welfare state is the only equitable situation...etc...and we wonder what's happening to our country?

This is probably a silly example, but lately I have been coming to a crosswalk in my car and I'll stop for the light or the stop sign and someone will just cross the street without looking..I mean ZERO looking...ipod in ear, or whatever..just CROSS. Entitled. I've seen it with moms with baby carriages...NO THOUGHT given to the fact that they're NOT entitled and that somebody could accidentally run a light or not see the sign and kill them.
Or teens who have their radios in the car SO loud and you know that if you just grimaced and gave a sign like "can you tone it down?" with your hand, you'd get THEIR hand's middle finger so fast your head would spin.

When did this HAPPEN? And, the scary thing bad can this GET?

Law and's a tough call. I do believe there ARE evil people, but you have to wonder if they were abused, or had no good modeling, etc...who knows? Interesting point, thanks...

ALL of you, thanks for your input...great stuff.

Anonymous said...

I do believe there's such a thing as a bad seed. Where does a Jeffrey Dahmer come from, or Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker? Not to mention Hitler, or Stalin.

I don't think it's all that common, but I think it exists.

To keep things in perspective however, hurt people hurt people, and evil for evil's sake, are not the same. It's a matter of degree, I think.

Like I said, it raises more questions than answers.

Susan Smith, who pushed her car, with her little ones in it, into a lake and watched her children go under that water, haunts me to this day.

That was evil. So unthinkable. Yet it happened. It's inexplicable.


Elmers Brother said...

other verses in that chapter point out that if we ignore or say that we have no sin then we lie and do not practice the truth, we make God a liar and we deceive ourselves.

Faith mentioned we are born with this sin nature. Thankfully 1:9 says that if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Jesus is our substitute and advocates for us.

We need to recognize our sin, repent and let the work of Jesus change us from the inside out.

WomanHonorThyself said...

so true Z............

Always On Watch said...

Ever read the book by Dahmer's father? Quite a revealing read.

Anonymous said...

AOW, no I haven't read it. It must have been an interesting read.


Anonymous said...

For Martin Luther King's Birthday (Monday, January 18) and Every Other Day

The underlying Principle that is Christ Jesus heals misperceptions of Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient God who is eternal, immutable Love and Truth.

There is no need to acknowledge Error, indulge in politics, or celebrate the accomplishments of any one individual or any particular time in Mortal History, because the Great I Am is central to our being — in Truth we have no Life where God is not present — and never HAVE had.

It is never that we ATONE for SIN and Hatred, but rather that we fully recognize that sin and hatred never have existed in Truth.

Inequality cannot exist when we realize that each one of us is a reflection of Divine Attributes and can have no existence apart from God.

This the BEDROCK of BEING — that we are INSEPARABLE from God. When we work always to know — and live — the Truth -- all the torments, troubles and seeming inequities of erring Mortal Existence vanish, and only harmony prevails.

We know that, in Christ, man cannot fall from this high estate of divine Love, unless mortal man wills it. ‘Clad in the panoply of love, human hatred cannot reach you.' We can only express what we are … what we have … what we know. And Christ Jesus our Master tells us that Love - perfect Love - casts out fear. So, no retaliation - just a lifting up of consciousness to what is real: Truth, Life, Love - abundance; for "in Him (Love) we live, and move, and have our be-ing. (Acts 17:28).”

~ FreeThinke

namaste said...

i know i am late on this thought-provoking conversation. but it is too good to resist commenting.

i like and concur with faith's comment the most.

to go further with my opinion, i add this. i'm through with hurt people. i've done more than my share as an adult trying to help them in my careers and personal life. i only care about them as it relates to them hurting my kids.

God has given us the freedom to live our lives how we wish. just because you've been hurt doesn't mean you have to hurt others. from childhood thru adulthood i have had my share of hurt. i can not relate to the wimps who desire to lash out simply because they've been hurt. they are cowards and i will not entertain their behaviors. hurt people fall under my blanket prayer for all Americans. i do not however, dedicate any special prayers to them. that's my truth.

David Wyatt said...

Z, the Ultimate Example of One who as hurt for us, & how if we will believe in Him, He can not only heal our hurts, but help others through us:
"He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all."

Z said...

thanks, FT and Namaste...all good input. REALLY good thoughts there...
David...such good reminders. "Stricken, smitten..." etc...Man, you reminded me, LENT IS AROUND THE CORNER!!!